Image via Magpie Tales i won't be leaving here with you nor will you be staying with me for any longer than you see fit that is just the way of it it is the silent refrain of my being i won't be leaving here with you but i will stay, until my time is done as your ceremonial chosen one no, this won't be my last tour though it is the first time i won't be leaving here with you shh, now, darling. this is what i do i see it in your eyes, our time's drawing to a close. please don't mind the tears they come, they go, it's true... i won't be leaving here with you Rene ~ December 8, 2012
I love this tercet with no capital letters - it reads more intimate that way.
ReplyDeleteWith just 3 lines you've caught the wonderful bond you had with your dad and how his leaving affected you.
'the heavy, full heart' is a wonderful line because it is both heavy with grieving and full with love, or heavy with love and full of grieving. It could be taken either way..
Of course he may still be alive, but there's a poignancy here that's almost palpable.
You've caught the essence of how wonderful it is to have had a loving father.
Bravo.
avril
thank you, avril, for such a wonderful, thoughtful comment.
ReplyDeleteThe light seems to single out one boat in particular, bathing it with rays straight from a hole in the sky. The light-path seems to whisper a benediction- as does the last sentence in this poignant verse.
ReplyDeleteyou've made it
ReplyDeleteflow so...
it's like the piece
is all one word
C~
that light is heavy as well...the leaving...your inscription to Daddy as well...sad smiles.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words and picture, Rene. Hugs.
ReplyDeletelove that you chose the anchor for conveying the loss of your dad - in all the sadness, it has something hopeful and it really touched my heart rene
ReplyDeleteHe was here.
ReplyDeleteBeauty, my dear.
Thank you all for the kind words. This was for my Daddy, who slipped the surly bonds of this earth 3 years ago today.
ReplyDeleteMiss him like it was yesterday.
nice Rene....
ReplyDeleteThank you, Braja...and thank you for helping me through those tough days when he passed with your kind words :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Rene...so sorry for your loss - "with light comes leaving"...thank you for your insight...bkm
ReplyDelete"for daddy" - You are so sweet.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Casey
Beautifully touched upon sentiments, like the light passing beyond the horizon, life fades yet reflects back to us in glorious memories.
ReplyDeleteRene- Powerful and very touching. I love the way the heavy heart can go either way as Avril said. You have captured raw emotion in a beautiful piece... love the photo, too.
ReplyDeleteI like the anchor balancing out the last line as well as tying into it: "the heavy, full heart"
ReplyDeleteShort, spare poetry can be a challenge, but for some reason I always gravitate towards it. Your poem here, in so few words, is excellently done.
"With light comes leaving" is what struck me the most here.
ReplyDeleteOur hearts are heavy and full when we lose a loved one. But there can also be a great deal of light and hope in the leaving.
This was absolutely lovely.
Lovely. And welcome.
ReplyDeleteWow, I love this. Having lost my own Dad 4 months agao and it being Father's Day yesterday all I can say is I feel it.
ReplyDelete