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| Image via Magpie Tales |
i won't be leaving here with you
nor will you be staying with me
for any longer than you see fit
that is just the way of it
it is the silent refrain of my being
i won't be leaving here with you
but i will stay, until my time is done
as your ceremonial chosen one
no, this won't be my last tour
though it is the first time
i won't be leaving here with you
shh, now, darling. this is what i do
i see it in your eyes, our time's
drawing to a close. please don't mind
the tears they come, they go,
it's true...i won't be leaving here with you
nor will you be staying with me
for any longer than you see fit
that is just the way of it
it is the silent refrain of my being
i won't be leaving here with you
but i will stay, until my time is done
as your ceremonial chosen one
no, this won't be my last tour
though it is the first time
i won't be leaving here with you
shh, now, darling. this is what i do
i see it in your eyes, our time's
drawing to a close. please don't mind
the tears they come, they go,
it's true...i won't be leaving here with you
Rene ~ December 8, 2012
is it the heart or the mind talking? I like the last two lines sitting together.
ReplyDeletelovely
Thanks, brother...me too
Deletesmiles...nicely done on the form rene...that third stanza made me grin...nice dance in it...nice title as well...always the bridesmaid...smiles.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Brian :)
DeleteAh, sounds like there is quite an 'understory' here, one which will never be told or revealed. Smiles!
ReplyDeleteNice poetry form here ~ I like the refraining lines ~
ReplyDeleteA country love song! I, too, like the refrain.
ReplyDeleteoh la la...quite the story here...the quatern form is perfect for it with the musical rhythm and the repetition...nicely done!
ReplyDeletevery nice. love the use of repetition in here, and a great rhythm and pace. Excellent share, thanks for sharing tonight.
ReplyDeletenice. i think that form is challenging. good for you! sing it, sister!
ReplyDeleteno, this won't be my last tour though it is the first time...
ReplyDeleteMy favorite lines.
Fresh, unusual take on the prompt...
ReplyDeleteNicely unexpected.
ReplyDeletethis is a wonderful song- I'll have to try a quatern - I like that repetition
ReplyDeleteThey are a challenge. The key is to really like the refrain
DeleteNUMBER 30
ReplyDeleteLeaving will
make your day
if the thrill
came to stay.
Lovely, Anders.
DeleteWow! That's fantastic
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone for coming by to read my stuff. I really appreciate you taking the time.
ReplyDeleteGreat work, Rene/ You aced the form, and I love the wry humor.......would love to know the backstory........
ReplyDeleteI'll let you all know about the backstory when it happens :)
DeleteCryptic enough for you?
..wow... you hit 3 birds in one stone... how creative you are for doing quatern, poetics & magpie in one shot... great... your refrain speaks of promise that's so notable... enjoyed it... smiles...
ReplyDeleteThank you,Kelvin! I was lucky that everything fell into place to make this poem happen. It was originally supposed to be a stand alone piece for Poetics but I procrastinated and wow! It paid off. This time. :)
DeleteGreat form - love that refrain. And the title...perfect! I'm always impressed with what you write.
ReplyDeleteGosh, Mary, Thank you so much
ReplyDeleteOh, so very perfect! Love it...
ReplyDeleteI love this great poem.
ReplyDeleteTwo prompts in one - a first person quatern - and so beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done and I'm trying to figure out the backstory...
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
I applaud you for doing each and turning such a wonderful poem, and what a great read
ReplyDeleteI like the refrain. It works well and adds a melancholy mood.
ReplyDeleteA 'Rockefeller' Masterpiece ... x3!
ReplyDeleteWonderful form..so well done, and the feeling..."They come, they go"..can't argue with that.
ReplyDeleteI like your quatrain and use of repetition. You tell the tale unapologetically and with confidence. I like that, too. You allow the reader to see a different life, a different kind of possibility. I like that most of all.
ReplyDeleteI've got a thought for you, and it's free. When do we get to have a book full of your wonderful poetry?
ReplyDeleteI guess that's a question.
Loved it.
Thanks
Casey
Thanks, Casey
DeleteSomeday
Wow a real heartbreaker for sure.....love the flow and dialogue of this Rene!
ReplyDeleteYou certainly stated the case......!
ReplyDeleteI like this very interesting story. Also, I think I know her.
ReplyDeleteOh this one's begging to be set to music...
ReplyDelete