Previously on "Not The Rockefellers"… I am still dealing with his loss. I haven't cried big buckets of tears but rather little Dixie cups here and there. It's amazing what triggers them. A scent, a familiar phrase, a laugh, the word "huh" being said to ensure that what is being said is being understood, the feel of soft sweater and looking at my daughter's eyes. She has her grandfather's "happy sad" eyes. I don't grieve during these moments, I just lose myself in them. It can be awkward at times, especially when I am in the Men's section of Macy's and the feel of a sweater on display gets me welling up. "Ma'am are you alright?" "Oh, yes, I'm just having a moment." I suppose I will probably have these moments for the rest of my life. And I will roll with them whenever and wherever they show up. It'll just be my Dad saying Hi." I knew I needed to find myself. I was in there