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flood light

Summer Evening, Edward Hopper, 1947

if i could
i would steal the sun 
and moon
swallow them whole
like two aspirin
and call off the morning

if i could
i would tell you 
everything i've done 
or failed to do
and let the night fall down
unpinned and unafraid

if i could
i would be a star
in your sixty watt galaxy
instead of a moth
casting shadows
in the pull of your gravity

Rene ~ August 2011

for Magpie Tales. 
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Comments

  1. barbaraAugust 9, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    the night falling "unpinned and unafraid" Nice twist.

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  2. Brian MillerAugust 9, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    nice...the last stanza is really tight...great stuff rene

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  3. Fred MillerAugust 9, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    That's really the place to start with any kind of salvation. Damn, I love you.

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  4. MarianAugust 9, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    i can feel this, rene.

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  5. Everyday GoddessAugust 9, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    each stanza is full on its own, and all together they are quite a trio.

    brava!

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  6. Maude LynnAugust 9, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    This is excellent all the way through!

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  7. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallAugust 9, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    thought provoking indeed.
    well done.

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  8. Erratic ThoughtsAugust 9, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    I liked the closing lines very much...Nice magpie :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. ReflectionsAugust 10, 2011 at 12:15 AM

    Each verse unto its own is powered with such beauty... combined they catch one 'like a moth
    in the pull of your gravity'...

    Stunning piece.

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  10. TrellissimoAugust 10, 2011 at 5:17 AM

    your sixty watt galaxy ?

    Don't knock us sixty year olds, though, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownAugust 10, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    @Trellissimo... 60?!
    Why, you don't look a day over 40 watts!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Tess KincaidAugust 10, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    This is one fine write. Maybe my favorite so far. Do I say that every time?

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  13. ♥ BrajaAugust 11, 2011 at 4:43 AM

    you're getting better and better; i love it. You and Brian are like the Wordsmith Duo :)

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  14. Doctor FTSEAugust 11, 2011 at 6:26 AM

    Very effective imagery . particularly "unpinned and unafraid" -which, by foregoing a comma, could apply equally to the night or the "I" of the poem.

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  15. HelenaAugust 11, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    I love the essense of each verse used..... And I laughed out loud at your @ Trellissimo.....

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  16. HelenAugust 11, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    ... you have the magic touch.

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  17. Steve IsaakAugust 12, 2011 at 3:51 AM

    Love this - perfect write.

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  18. Tumblewords:August 12, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    Brilliant! Brava!

    ReplyDelete
  19. MichaelOctober 16, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    I so love the ending--left tears in my eyes in its poignancy. Absolutely brilliant piece, Rene. I so hope you do a book of prose/poetry one day. I love your jottings.

    ReplyDelete

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