The Fifty Cent Tour

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

don't tread on me

she's still
not over the fact
that 

she is under the ground

she speaks
in rattly, clattery
hissing voices
whenever they come around

"I'll reach right up
and turn your ankles

you unforgivable gits, for burying me, prematurely, over a spell of the coughing fits"

so angry with her new residence
and 
bored a deeper shade of blue
she's knocked over her marble marker
and broken it clean in two.


Boo! ~ Rene 2010

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For another take on this magpie please check out 
"The Song Of The Stone Healer"

70 comments:

  1. holy snap...dont want to get it her way right now...yikes! deliciously creepy...lol.

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  2. Well, Happy Halloween! Much cheerier than "The Long Black Veil". I likey!

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  3. Oh, this is absolutely delightful. I just love your sparky sense of humor in this one!

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  4. Gumby:

    Nobody knows, nobody sees..nobody knows but me..

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  5. Well, this was REALLY fun. I needed this tonight! (One can't take life - and death - too seriously sometime!)

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  6. Made me laugh. "Turning a deeper shade of blue" Got the blues?.

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  7. Oh my god! That was so cool! (Do I sound as mature as I am?) I loved it. So cool...

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  8. Oooh, another scary take on it? "Bored a deeper shade of blue" is hilarious, however, you unforgivable git. LOL

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  9. Wow, the Hateful Dead.

    As you probably know, people used to be afraid of being buried prematirely, and there were coffins with little bells on them and things like that, just in case. But this chick's dead as anything and doesn't know it. Bummer, lol. Really well written, Rene. I loved this.

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  10. Wonderful take on the Mag. Love and Light, Sender

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  11. I love it Rene. You're quite witty, aintcha? Hehehe

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  12. A angry corpse in denial! Love it! "she speaks in rattly, clattery hissing voices whenever they come around..." What an image!

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  13. Oooo, I have shivers down my spine on that one. FUN, Rene!

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  14. Oh you scary Rene! Funny and creepy mag!

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  15. There should be lurid drawings in blues and purples accompanying this. :-)

    Pearl

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  16. I've heard tales of those buried alive, back in the day when they didn't understand about comas, and such. Creepy!

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  17. A subconscious fear for many of us!

    You're not kidding, BOO!

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  18. oh hahah so very clever- I love a spirit with Spirit!

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  19. Hahah!

    Best Halloween take I've seen yet.

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  20. What a great spin on the prompt.

    'unforgivable git's'......brilliant!

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  21. I thought this was so funny. I think if we had known each other in life, she would not have been an easy person to know. She would no doubt dislike me for not taking her seriously.

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  22. Wowe! An angry ghost!

    They really thought she'd been iced
    And buried her deep in a thrice!
    But up from the ground
    Her ghost came around,
    A really pissed off poltergeist!

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  23. Thanks for that bright flash of humour, Rene. Nicely done!

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  24. I'd be more than slightlyhacked off too! Lovely post!

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  25. Awesome. I'm going to post Keats' "This Living Hand" because of you.

    This living hand, now warm and capable
    Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
    And in the icy silence of the tomb,
    So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
    That thou would wish thine own heart dry of blood
    So in my veins red life might stream again,
    And thou be conscience-calmed-- see here it is--
    I hold it towards you.

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  26. nicely done rene. may be the only one i've read from the perspective of the dead.

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  27. I love what you did with the prompt Rene...well done! ;-)_

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  28. wohoooo... loved your prompt..i actually had been wondering on the same lines myself, but u did it full justice

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  29. Sometimes the dead just won't lay down, will they?

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  30. Full marks for finding some humour in this grusome topic!

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  31. Halloween is coming, the ghosties and ghoulies are rising from their graves.

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  32. Love it! Humor found in darkness, reaching up to get the gits. Nice.

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  33. Hilarious, clever, and at this time of year, creepily believable - woo- ooo - ooo- ooh!

    The rhyme was subtle and didn't seem to control the poem, which allowed the spirit of the dead to have her say.

    Excellent use of photo prompt, I loved it!

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  34. Terrific - love the voice of 'her'!

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  35. Keats really could get his creep on, couldn't he Fred!

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  36. Thank you everyone...have a wicked all Hallow's Eve

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  37. u r an expert in writing spooky pieces.
    well done.

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  38. Well, "Boo!" right back at ya, and thank you for this special Halloween Magpie!


    word verification is "tesse" .... is she announcing her name from her grave?!!!!!

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  39. awesome! Wouldn't want to walk over her grave!

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  40. Oh my! Everyone would do well to stay away from that grave.

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  41. HAhah. I shouldn't laugh I suppose but I love this little bit of morbid whimsy.

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  42. Mmm...it's perfectly fine to laugh, this was meant to be humorous, albiet darkly :)

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  43. The last lines are the best. I like the humor mixed with creepiness.

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  44. Ooh, that's a feisty one, glad I wasn't the one to bury her prematurely...

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  45. What a fascinating take on the prompt!

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  46. That was a really dirty trick they played on her. Pun intended.
    Happy Halloween!
    Victoria
    http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/jingles-poetry-potluck-all-hallows-eve/

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  47. Dear Rene
    A very nice one. "Bored a deeper shade of blue"... very well said.. Thanks for sharing..


    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  48. Thanks for linking, remarkable job.
    Happy November.

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  49. yuks! creepy! my heart cant take it!

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  50. I'd be a bit ticked-off at being buried alive too!

    Nice Potluck entry!

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  51. That was really creepy! Fun, fun, fun not in the sun! Enjoyed that one a lot!

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  52. omg Rene that is BRILLIANT. Holy crap!!! I love it!

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  53. Love this -- I just hear her anger clattering in that grave!

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  54. spooky!!! it made me think of my grandma (she used to threatened us that she will comeback as an angry spirit to pull our feet at night for being so naughty with her!) Luckily, so far, no pulls ;)

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  55. This was a fun read! It's like one of those funny/scary stories I used to see on TV when I still watched TV. Nice! :)

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  56. Please help giving (belated) birthday wishes to 3 or 4 fellow poets:

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/happy-birthday-eric-dom/

    Thanks a lot for the support.
    Happy November!
    Your presence adds light to our space, keep shining!
    xxx

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  57. Wonderful, wonderful and even more wonderful!!!!

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  58. Ouch!! Not a very pretty story for her..
    And it scared the hell outta me!!

    She really should quit bothering us innocent souls though.. :)

    Enjoyed the read!! Creepy..but awesome!

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