The Fifty Cent Tour

Sunday, May 18, 2014

St. Johnsbury

         image: Edward Hopper, 1922 

she poured 
the bone colored grit
into her coffee 
& watched as it turned
a lighter shade of resignation 

what is the matter?
his words hung 
mid-air 
blooming
an unavoidable cloud

take my hand, please
she exhaled
i just seem to be 
a bit stuck is all
and she left it at that

2014-Rene

13 comments:

  1. I love how you use the stanza about pouring creamer into coffee to create just the right atmosphere for your big reveal.

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  2. Portent and atmosphere - you nailed it!

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  3. "a lighter shade of resignation"...becomes so significant...nice lines..

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  4. Things that mean the most and are closest to our heart as well as truth - are the ones we leave unspoken. Beautifully penned. Great work with the prompt.

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  5. I loved this, partly because it's a horribly recognisable situation, when we can't say what we really need to. Lovely imagery, moving from the coffee to the clouds to her exhalation.

    http://thenarratorslibrary.blogspot.com/2014/05/magpie-tales-tea-for-two-dinner-for-one.html

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  6. "a lighter shade of resignation "

    Wish I'd thought of that: such a fine phrase.

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  7. Feeling a bit stuck is not good. Great write!

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  8. i ate this up.

    i just seem to be

    a bit stuck

    And the lighter shade of resignation?


    brilliance.

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  9. Mastery of words - magic :-)

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