The Fifty Cent Tour

Saturday, December 8, 2012

bridesmaid

Image via Magpie Tales


i won't be leaving here with you
nor will you be staying with me
for any longer than you see fit
that is just the way of it

it is the silent refrain of my being
i won't be leaving here with you
but i will stay, until my time is done
as your ceremonial chosen one

no, this won't be my last tour
though it is the first time
i won't be leaving here with you
shh, now, darling. this is what i do

i see it in your eyes, our time's
drawing to a close. please don't mind 
the tears they come, they go,
it's true...i won't be leaving here with you

Rene ~ December 8, 2012

41 comments:

  1. is it the heart or the mind talking? I like the last two lines sitting together.

    lovely

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  2. smiles...nicely done on the form rene...that third stanza made me grin...nice dance in it...nice title as well...always the bridesmaid...smiles.

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  3. Ah, sounds like there is quite an 'understory' here, one which will never be told or revealed. Smiles!

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  4. Nice poetry form here ~ I like the refraining lines ~

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  5. A country love song! I, too, like the refrain.

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  6. oh la la...quite the story here...the quatern form is perfect for it with the musical rhythm and the repetition...nicely done!

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  7. very nice. love the use of repetition in here, and a great rhythm and pace. Excellent share, thanks for sharing tonight.

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  8. nice. i think that form is challenging. good for you! sing it, sister!

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  9. no, this won't be my last tour though it is the first time...

    My favorite lines.

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  10. Fresh, unusual take on the prompt...

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  11. Lovely - it's a song you've written. I hear it in whispers of Judy Collins.

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  12. this is a wonderful song- I'll have to try a quatern - I like that repetition

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    1. They are a challenge. The key is to really like the refrain

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  13. NUMBER 30

    Leaving will
    make your day
    if the thrill
    came to stay.

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  14. Thanks to everyone for coming by to read my stuff. I really appreciate you taking the time.

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  15. Great work, Rene/ You aced the form, and I love the wry humor.......would love to know the backstory........

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    1. I'll let you all know about the backstory when it happens :)
      Cryptic enough for you?

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  16. ..wow... you hit 3 birds in one stone... how creative you are for doing quatern, poetics & magpie in one shot... great... your refrain speaks of promise that's so notable... enjoyed it... smiles...

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    1. Thank you,Kelvin! I was lucky that everything fell into place to make this poem happen. It was originally supposed to be a stand alone piece for Poetics but I procrastinated and wow! It paid off. This time. :)

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  17. Great form - love that refrain. And the title...perfect! I'm always impressed with what you write.

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  18. Two prompts in one - a first person quatern - and so beautifully written.

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  19. Beautifully done and I'm trying to figure out the backstory...

    Anna :o]

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  20. I applaud you for doing each and turning such a wonderful poem, and what a great read

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  21. I like the refrain. It works well and adds a melancholy mood.

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  22. A 'Rockefeller' Masterpiece ... x3!

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  23. Wonderful form..so well done, and the feeling..."They come, they go"..can't argue with that.

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  24. I like your quatrain and use of repetition. You tell the tale unapologetically and with confidence. I like that, too. You allow the reader to see a different life, a different kind of possibility. I like that most of all.

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  25. I've got a thought for you, and it's free. When do we get to have a book full of your wonderful poetry?

    I guess that's a question.

    Loved it.

    Thanks

    Casey

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  26. Wow a real heartbreaker for sure.....love the flow and dialogue of this Rene!

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  27. You certainly stated the case......!

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  28. I like this very interesting story. Also, I think I know her.

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  29. Oh this one's begging to be set to music...

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