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| Between Heaven and Hell, 1989 by Jacek Yerka |
you never baked pies
that weren't worth the penance
why the hell try
you never learned how
to keep your hands to myself
saw no reason why
you drew crooked lines
with sharp knives, in quicksand
(maybes) set in stone
got your momma's hair
and your daddy's long, long legs
rolling soul is your own
did i never see?
your feet barely grazed the ground
i told myself lies
time to let you go
cut your threads out of my nest
gypsy moths fill the sky
.........................
it was a fine fall
and apples were in season
when i said goodbye
Rene ~ March 29, 2013
For 100 Word Song - Sorry For It All
and Magpie Tales
nice...love that last break out 3 liner...its evocative...really concrete images of the season to anchor the feeling of saying goodbye...
ReplyDeletein the first bit the pairing of cutting the thread and gypsy moths is really cool...
So sad, so empty nest... the kitchen scene does bring back those memories.
ReplyDeleteyou never learned how
ReplyDeleteto keep your hands to myself
Hehehe! Great Mag - but it would look so much better on the screen if you used the occasional capital letter - especially for 'I'!!
Pen the Purist :)
Jinksy, it's just my style to use lowercase. I did use the occasional uppercase one time and was told it was "jarring". You just can't make everyone happy...so you may as well do what pleases you :)
DeleteI actually hear this as a song! should be set to music.....
ReplyDeleteloved this. great imagery.
ReplyDelete(popping over from Lance's 100wordsong)
this is so poignant and lovely- cutting the apron strings and letting them fly away
ReplyDeleteKeep your hands to myself. Clever, imaginative, effective.
ReplyDeleteinteresting, I did not see it as a fledgling leaving the nest - too into the jilted lover type thing in my head I guess. :) Nevertheless - well done. (sign of a good piece when different people see different things.) :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Barbara, and I did write this from the perspective of the jilted lover...but it is cool to see it interpreted differently, I enjoy that.
DeleteThe kitchen really is the heart of a home.
ReplyDeleteenjoyed this one - you always bring interesting stuff to the table :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree that the rhythm is song-like and suits the mood well. Cutting the threads seems the sensible thing to do!
ReplyDelete.. and I say good riddance! Lovely poetry as always, Rene.
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear this one set to music. I really like your writing Rene.
ReplyDeleteAs a Pop-o who is reluctantly setting his own gypsy moth fly into the sun, I feel this. Thanks. Mucho love, Mosk
ReplyDeleteI heard the apron strings as well. Maybe an age thing. Anyway...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images painted here. And so many memorable lines.
When I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me
ReplyDeletewhen new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment.
Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service?
Thanks a lot!
Feel free to visit my website: letting go quotes
Yeah. Receiving unwanted email kinda sucks doesn't it?
DeleteI will forward your request to my assistant, Karma.
You had me at crooked lines with sharp knives, in quicksand.
ReplyDeleteI love the interpretation. Leeroy may be in touch, soon.
Why the hell try...indeed...giggle...
ReplyDeleteextremely imaginative and highly effective ... I loved it.
ReplyDelete