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| Image: (via Magpie Tales) TheFoxandRaven |
a pouty lipped
wringing wet
pre-coital
national velvet era
box top version
of liz taylor
wringing wet
pre-coital
national velvet era
box top version
of liz taylor
i left behind
in the attic
with her narcoleptic libido
and her a&p bags
and her a&p bags
full of half finished
coming of age
dime store beach trash
she
dime store beach trash
she
a dark secret,
a red sash
heart murmur,
a wicked invention
a red sash
heart murmur,
a wicked invention
of an adolescent
ouija board
imagination
she now screams blue,
ouija board
imagination
she now screams blue,
dripping wet and
seething
down my dream halls
how DARE I leave!
how FUCKED UP
to remember!
pillow flipping off
her midnight
power surge
i drown her out
in buckets of tidal sweat
good lord, girlie
go the hell to sleep
go to hell to sleep
Rene ~ 2013
the push and pull of this is so thoughtful and real, and i just love
ReplyDelete"a wicked overactive
ouija board
imagination"
sometimes i think that's what my mind is like. i never know how to describe it though, and you might have. very interesting write, i liked it. x
whew...the things we have tucked away in the attic...have to be careful letting them out...they may not want to go back to sleep...smiles. a little imagination is not a bad thing though.
ReplyDeletea dark secret,
ReplyDeletea red sash
heart murmur,
Great lines, love the picture and the building up of tension.
she screams blue, down
ReplyDeletemy dream halls
You completely got the feel of this image from start to finish...
You have created a vivid, frightening scene here. It makes me want to know the secret and what the ouija board might have foretold!
ReplyDeletea really authentic piece - real emotion, and vivid imagery
ReplyDeleteholy! wow.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, had those nights.
ReplyDeleteAh, nostalgia! I enjoyed this very much, even the wry, rueful ending.
ReplyDeletenice done indeed....thanks for sharing your words
ReplyDeletecool got me roiled up - lot of "fun" images and allusions
ReplyDeleteThis was a real trip - I love how the scenes switch from one to the next. This was inventive and imaginative. Liked this very much.
ReplyDeleteLike all the little tidbits thrown in, you sure Go Go away at your bin!
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes our youth, or past, or packed away dreams want to come out and play, and we play along again until it's time to remember today. Some great lines in this. I love great lines and really enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDelete...some kind of paranormal activity scene going on here... nifty dream world, i say... smiles...
ReplyDeleteI love Stanzas 1 and 3.
ReplyDeleteOne of my faves of the night! You create a fully-realized character, here, with your careful attention to surprising details, your playfulness with rhythm, assonance, and internal rhyme, the tone you maintain throughout the poem--reflecting both the exuberance of the subject versus the weary knowingness of the narrator-- and the naturalness with which you write. Excellent.
ReplyDeletegreat use of imagery here, the piece really builds nicely throughout, closing very strong. Thanks, really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteShe seems like sexual energy personified, great stuff
ReplyDeletea wicked overactive
ReplyDeleteouija board
imagination
that will get you in major trouble every time--eloquent writing that makes the moment/past all too real--last lines are killer good. Also liked the liz taylor reference--what a symbol of lush ultimate feminine she was.
niiiiiice!
ReplyDeleteOuija board imagination...wow...
ReplyDeleteDark at the wilding...excellent.
ReplyDeleteOh the memories that come up at 2am....love this Rene!!!
ReplyDelete