The Fifty Cent Tour

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

tetanus

Image ( via Magpie Tales) Google Images

blood stains
freckle
snow-white linen
like rusted lace

cover me with
wild adrenaline
sloppy, split lip 
apologetic kisses

i hide my face
yet still
i hear
sharp-edged marbles 

in your mouth
tumbling
over scotch rocks
and little red last straws

nobody knows
this more
that doesn't meet 
their eye

no news 
is good weather
no bruise dear
it'll get better

we soothe ourselves
with lullabies
and true lies
just rest now, dear

leave hold 
of your world
pull up a chair
let go of my hair

the taste of bile 
once on your lips,
how quick
the monster slips 

i wait
i pray you drift soon,
soundly
sweetly

a little boy
on soiled sheets
a broken spirit
spinning webs

i lick my wounds
under cover
my jaw locked

my mind loaded


18 comments:

  1. You have a real talent for poetry. Great writing.

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  2. some very cool descriptors rene...i like how linen and adrenaline play...the marbles and scotch rocks in the mouth...no news is good weather is an interesting line as well...nicely done...

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  3. sharp edged marbles in your mouth
    tumbling over scotch rocks
    and little red last straws

    Oh, Rene. Your talent blows me away.

    Pearl

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  4. dang...sharp edged marbles...tight images in this and well played on the dark mood

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  5. Yow! These images evoke all sorts of pain, sadness. "We soothe ourselves with lullabyes and true lies." For me, that's the zinger!

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  6. This is really uncomfortable to read, not because it's written badly - far from it, it's very skillfully composed - but because of all the hard-edged images and my responses to them. The lies we tell ourselves, each other and the world - all to try and maintain the pretence that everything is OK.

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  7. Powerful words and mental images of the bruises, the blood. "We soothe ourselves with lullabies and true lies", the "it'll get better"....you have completely nailed the abusive relationship.

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  8. You really brought this image alive, setting the reader on edge, dis-ease in every line. Very, very well done!

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  9. How sad. It read like a house of violence and misuse. Very cutting images, touched my heart to the point I hope experince was fiction, but it read very real.

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  10. ...Tight write and gives many layers of forming your imagery... very nice...smiles...

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  11. Very vivid. Amazingly real. The taste of bile is unfortunately something I know too well so that left a bitter taste in my mouth but this poem had a eerie but very deep message. The picture that you have with it is very tragic looking- and gives insight to your poetic story :)

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  12. also hope it's fiction...'little red last straws'..biting narrative..;)

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  13. you are so incredible. Each and EVERY time.


    holy Cheezus.

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  14. and yes, the shoes are ALSO amazing.



    lol

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  15. Just to put you all at ease this is a work of fiction inspired by the Afghan Whigs song Debonair.
    It is a disturbing song about substance abuse and how it screws up relationships and lives.

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  16. A poem very well written and well structured. The lies are used to control the people but it is only illusory control and self-destructive because in truth is the only evil that can do us good.

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  17. I've been there, the images of the poem hit hard

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