flip the dream switch
bury the hatchet
in the two ply gauze
of pseudo fantastic
swerve like Brando
or maybe James Dean
eat a kumquat
in the lap of the queen
paint a chair
on the staircase of truth
cinder blocked echoes
a confessional booth
you learned about love
from a stripper named Fay
by reading her diary
that she left on the train
"love each other
like it's Christmas Eve
at the 7-11
and the slurpees are free"
carry butane bullets
in your heart for the girl
erotic fictitious calamity
makes your flag unfurl
kiss your spouse
as you spoon into bed
the smell of ramen
and the colour red
Rene ~ October 20, 2012
This poem was inspired by a d'Verse Poets challenge "Steampunk and enjambments" I was too late for the link up but that shouldn't stop you from checking out the link.
Missed it by 10 hours, Brian :)
"train" is also my Magpie Tales submission #140
bury the hatchet
in the two ply gauze
of pseudo fantastic
swerve like Brando
or maybe James Dean
eat a kumquat
in the lap of the queen
paint a chair
on the staircase of truth
cinder blocked echoes
a confessional booth
you learned about love
from a stripper named Fay
by reading her diary
that she left on the train
"love each other
like it's Christmas Eve
at the 7-11
and the slurpees are free"
carry butane bullets
in your heart for the girl
erotic fictitious calamity
makes your flag unfurl
kiss your spouse
as you spoon into bed
the smell of ramen
and the colour red
Rene ~ October 20, 2012
This poem was inspired by a d'Verse Poets challenge "Steampunk and enjambments" I was too late for the link up but that shouldn't stop you from checking out the link.
Missed it by 10 hours, Brian :)
"train" is also my Magpie Tales submission #140
missed it by....that much....this might just fit todays prompt as well...kinda...as we are talking about the ages of (wo)man....and for me this felt almost like growing up....i mean i never learned by reading a strippers diary on the train, but its never too late you know....smiles....at the 7-11 and the slurpess are free....love that...there is a lot of fun in this one...
ReplyDeletethere she is...smiles.
ReplyDeleteRamen how funny is that.
ReplyDeleteIt is all common sense.
Well done.
Fun read and apt for both promts
ReplyDeleteSome fantastic descritions in this. It has a wonderful bouncy rythym and attitude to it. I like it!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brian, that this is a fun poem. But I also detect a slight sardonic twist between the lines.....I like that!
ReplyDeleteQuirky! This one calls for a little music!
ReplyDeletethis is definitely quirky. I like it, and I sang as I wrote it, not well, but there is a definite rhythm.
DeleteI especially love "paint a chair on the staircase of truth". Wow, kiddo, way cool poem.
ReplyDeletethe smell of ramen
ReplyDeletenever far away
even if you ain't eaten it
for 30 years plus a day
Hmm, tastes of images were interesting and the rhyme great. I wish I walked away knowing more.
ReplyDeleteSometimes Sabio, you don't get to know more.
DeleteYou have to invent the magic.
Indeed, sometimes you don't. But it is such a shame when so little is given in an encounter with another that the mind only allows them to remain a stranger. It is the strong contacts that we remember.
DeleteOh I must disagree... Sometimes the small details of a brief encounter burn a hole in my memory. A small smile, a glance, a scent...
DeleteThe way you wear your hat
The way you sing off key
The memory of all that... :)
I do prefer the stronger contact, myself.
Indeed, but one person may think their gesture clear as day, while the other just walks away. Communication is two way.
DeleteIf someone has the eye to see, it all works, otherwise ... good opportunities are often loss.
Missed connections, disconnections
DeleteOpportunities that aren't taken...
Frustrating
And don't be fooled by my sweet replies..,
DeleteI struggle with this hunger... This need for more than allows :)
"love each other
ReplyDeletelike it's Christmas Eve
at the 7-11
and the slurpees are free"
You might be the queen of imagery for me today--clever and entertaining write--so well done!
Glad I buckled my seat belt before I read this one. I doff my chapeau for thee, Madame Rene! and woot!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure IG :)
DeleteWoo Hoo!
ReplyDeleteLove this!
You slaughtered both steampunk and enjambment and made me want to head on over to 7-11 before cuddling with The Good Husband. Vivid, entertaining imagery, to say the least.
You cheated. Channelling Lewis Carol is... well permitted, I guess. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sir Stafford
ReplyDeleteI wonder, are there any vacant seats available on this train? Cause it's heading in a great direction. . . .
ReplyDeleteIs it just excellent writing or does it seem to be a perfect fit for both! You rock- two for one!
ReplyDeleteI thank my mentor, sunbae Brian Miller, for the suggestion to post it :)
Deleteman alive.... this was like a collection of haikus with knock out juice pushed to perfection. after each stanza i was aaaaahhhh dang.
ReplyDeleteYou blow my mind. This is up there with Vodka Girls....brilliant :)))) xoxooxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI kicked it up a notch, Braja, just for you :)
DeleteWell..... that's using your noodle, a wonderful poem that could be a song. Great imagery beautifully stitched together, Rene. Thank you for sharing this.=D
ReplyDeleteUsing your noodle... Yer killin' me Linda
DeleteLove S2:
ReplyDelete'swerve like Brando
or maybe James Dean
eat a kumquat
in the lap of the queen'
and I also love it when the slurpees are free!
You really entered the pyramid here, Rene, and the moon shines brightly overhead ! , say hello to the train man .
ReplyDeleteVery nice, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAnna @ sewa mobil jakarta
you learned about love
ReplyDeletefrom a stripper named Fay
by reading her diary
that she left on the train..ha...LOVE that...i bet you can learn a lot by reading a stripper's diary..bet it's downright honest and raw...very cool
I know a stripper named Faye. Loved the rhythym of the piece, the rhymes, it pulsated a kool melody. Luved ur line work. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteI am still busy composing my steamfunk poem. This fit the bill. I love the rhyme, the characters, and the easy flow of the poem. Well done!
ReplyDeleteLove that rhyme and rhythm. Kinda made me dance in my chair, reading it.
ReplyDelete=)