The Fifty Cent Tour

Saturday, October 20, 2012

train

flip the dream switch
bury the hatchet
in the two ply gauze
of pseudo fantastic

swerve like Brando
or maybe James Dean
eat a kumquat
in the lap of the queen

paint a chair
on the staircase of truth
cinder blocked echoes
a confessional booth

you learned about love
from a stripper named Fay
by reading her diary
that she left on the train

"love each other
like it's Christmas Eve
at the 7-11
and the slurpees are free"

carry butane bullets
in your heart for the girl
erotic fictitious calamity
makes your flag unfurl

kiss your spouse
as you spoon into bed
the smell of ramen
and the colour red

Rene ~ October 20, 2012

This poem was inspired by a d'Verse Poets challenge "Steampunk and enjambments" I was too late for the link up but that shouldn't stop you from checking out the link.

Missed it by 10 hours, Brian :)

"train" is also my Magpie Tales submission #140

38 comments:

  1. missed it by....that much....this might just fit todays prompt as well...kinda...as we are talking about the ages of (wo)man....and for me this felt almost like growing up....i mean i never learned by reading a strippers diary on the train, but its never too late you know....smiles....at the 7-11 and the slurpess are free....love that...there is a lot of fun in this one...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ramen how funny is that.
    It is all common sense.
    Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some fantastic descritions in this. It has a wonderful bouncy rythym and attitude to it. I like it!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Brian, that this is a fun poem. But I also detect a slight sardonic twist between the lines.....I like that!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Quirky! This one calls for a little music!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this is definitely quirky. I like it, and I sang as I wrote it, not well, but there is a definite rhythm.

      Delete
  6. I especially love "paint a chair on the staircase of truth". Wow, kiddo, way cool poem.

    ReplyDelete
  7. the smell of ramen
    never far away
    even if you ain't eaten it
    for 30 years plus a day

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmm, tastes of images were interesting and the rhyme great. I wish I walked away knowing more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes Sabio, you don't get to know more.
      You have to invent the magic.

      Delete
    2. Indeed, sometimes you don't. But it is such a shame when so little is given in an encounter with another that the mind only allows them to remain a stranger. It is the strong contacts that we remember.

      Delete
    3. Oh I must disagree... Sometimes the small details of a brief encounter burn a hole in my memory. A small smile, a glance, a scent...
      The way you wear your hat
      The way you sing off key
      The memory of all that... :)
      I do prefer the stronger contact, myself.

      Delete
    4. Indeed, but one person may think their gesture clear as day, while the other just walks away. Communication is two way.
      If someone has the eye to see, it all works, otherwise ... good opportunities are often loss.

      Delete
    5. Missed connections, disconnections
      Opportunities that aren't taken...
      Frustrating

      Delete
    6. And don't be fooled by my sweet replies..,
      I struggle with this hunger... This need for more than allows :)

      Delete
  9. "love each other
    like it's Christmas Eve
    at the 7-11
    and the slurpees are free"


    You might be the queen of imagery for me today--clever and entertaining write--so well done!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Glad I buckled my seat belt before I read this one. I doff my chapeau for thee, Madame Rene! and woot!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woo Hoo!
    Love this!
    You slaughtered both steampunk and enjambment and made me want to head on over to 7-11 before cuddling with The Good Husband. Vivid, entertaining imagery, to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You cheated. Channelling Lewis Carol is... well permitted, I guess. Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wonder, are there any vacant seats available on this train? Cause it's heading in a great direction. . . .

    ReplyDelete
  14. Is it just excellent writing or does it seem to be a perfect fit for both! You rock- two for one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thank my mentor, sunbae Brian Miller, for the suggestion to post it :)

      Delete
  15. man alive.... this was like a collection of haikus with knock out juice pushed to perfection. after each stanza i was aaaaahhhh dang.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You blow my mind. This is up there with Vodka Girls....brilliant :)))) xoxooxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kicked it up a notch, Braja, just for you :)

      Delete
  17. Well..... that's using your noodle, a wonderful poem that could be a song. Great imagery beautifully stitched together, Rene. Thank you for sharing this.=D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Using your noodle... Yer killin' me Linda

      Delete
  18. Love S2:
    'swerve like Brando
    or maybe James Dean
    eat a kumquat
    in the lap of the queen'
    and I also love it when the slurpees are free!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You really entered the pyramid here, Rene, and the moon shines brightly overhead ! , say hello to the train man .

    ReplyDelete
  20. you learned about love
    from a stripper named Fay
    by reading her diary
    that she left on the train..ha...LOVE that...i bet you can learn a lot by reading a stripper's diary..bet it's downright honest and raw...very cool

    ReplyDelete
  21. I know a stripper named Faye. Loved the rhythym of the piece, the rhymes, it pulsated a kool melody. Luved ur line work. Very nice.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am still busy composing my steamfunk poem. This fit the bill. I love the rhyme, the characters, and the easy flow of the poem. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love that rhyme and rhythm. Kinda made me dance in my chair, reading it.

    =)

    ReplyDelete

Please drop a penny in a poet's hat :