the will
is gone
and all
that's left
is the thrill
of passing on
of leaving
debts
and dirty
laundry
lists and
tangled ends
family and
fortunes
unsorted
undone
and so
with the letting go
begins
the end
~
a brave
new face
with a mission
carved in stone
sits down
beside me
finds a way
into my bed
whistling
eyes smiling
hand on
my thigh
marking time
by my gate
picking the lock
on my soul
always
faithful
forever
charming
darling
it's time
he croons
softly
when are you
coming home?
Rene ~ October 2012
Image: Sick Woman, 1655, Jan Steen via Magpie Tales
Pretty depressing take on the prompt.
When I saw the smile on the woman's face the first thing I thought was that she was dying and had come to terms with it. She was ready to let go.
is gone
and all
that's left
is the thrill
of passing on
of leaving
debts
and dirty
laundry
lists and
tangled ends
family and
fortunes
unsorted
undone
and so
with the letting go
begins
the end
~
a brave
new face
with a mission
carved in stone
sits down
beside me
finds a way
into my bed
whistling
eyes smiling
hand on
my thigh
marking time
by my gate
picking the lock
on my soul
always
faithful
forever
charming
darling
it's time
he croons
softly
when are you
coming home?
Rene ~ October 2012
Image: Sick Woman, 1655, Jan Steen via Magpie Tales
Pretty depressing take on the prompt.
When I saw the smile on the woman's face the first thing I thought was that she was dying and had come to terms with it. She was ready to let go.
the thought of deaths eyes smiling waiting by the gate is pretty haunting...and the end will find us all eventually...
ReplyDeleteI imagined Christopher Walken
Deletedid you change this from when i first read it? the ending seems to have softened quite a bit...
DeleteYeah, I changed it up. I do that from time to time.
DeleteWhen it comes to death, a lot of people (myself included) worry about all the things that will be left unfinished. But as people often say, "their worries are over" too. Depressing, yes, but I like your take on it.
ReplyDeleteYour Mag is timely for me -- and well done ~~ My 16-year old grandson asked a profound question of me today ~~~ 'how do you deal with the idea of death at your age' ... it threw me. He was getting ready to hike our ski mountain ... I told him it was a serious question and deserved a thoughtful answer ... . (I've been pondering my response all afternoon, think I'm ready with an answer.)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Helen. :)
DeleteI think I would like that kind of death. When I'm saged and spent, and ready to meet the skully smile of Old Man Death. I would probably whistle, too ;-)
ReplyDeleteDepressing? Maybe. But not so much when I consider your postscript. Maybe she just knew, and to be ready must be a truly amazing thing.
ReplyDeletePeace, Rene.
Not all that depressing--and I liked the write a bunch!
ReplyDeleteThe thrill of passing on. Yes, I guess there is a sort of thrill to it. Along with a way to find peace.
ReplyDeleteMust admit, I was glad to get to the end of your long list of woes...
ReplyDeleteHeh! You can die now :)
DeleteI love this inyerrwining yarn of sex and death, Rene , thanks
ReplyDeletei liked this so much,,,,beautifulxx
ReplyDeleteOn to the next great adventure...
ReplyDelete(I totally get the Christopher Walken image too)
I believe I know why the girl smiles. The doctor told her,
ReplyDeleteI adore your friendly style,
worship your approving smile,
which by no means you are fit!
Definitely you’ve got it!
Love sick :)
DeleteI found this work, not depressing, but thrilling. The second poem is so alive, this was great.
ReplyDeleteI loved this. Those last lines are rich. I read this four or five times just to let them sink it.
ReplyDeleteexcellet
Good write...when time comes the important thing to me would be to go with dignity. Nicely penned.
ReplyDeleteThere definitely is a contrast between the mood in the first poem and the second. I agree with Ayala. Dying with dignity is the key.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. Remember the movie "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" ...how beautiful to slip away into the next life like that.
DeleteI love the attenuated line length and rhythmic cadence. You told your tale well.
ReplyDeleteso good when we can let go when our end comes...though i think it is not easy
ReplyDeleteSometimes loved ones linger and hold on waiting to say goodbye......letting go is always hard.....a powerful write Rene!
ReplyDeleteMorbid,how depressing! You really brought out that feel with your verse. Very effective Rene!
ReplyDeleteHank
What lovely lively words on the theme of death. Ivigorating stuff although for now I will hang onto the unfinished stuff...
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]