The Fifty Cent Tour

Saturday, September 15, 2012

high school hope chest

i was a carpenter's dream
you never could
shut up
about that

i was more than just
geometry
you didn't
own

you lacked the tools
and sense
to figure
that out

hormones and swelling glands
navigating
your every
move

yet you
bothered with me
when I couldn't even
stand myself

if only
i could have
changed
my breasts

or cut
away
my ethnic
nose

maybe
our conversations
could have
gone somewhere

instead of falling
flat
like your idiotic
punchlines

i was
always the
straight man in your
perfect, curvy world

forever waiting for
the hook
to yank you
back

truth
be told
behind the
forced laughter

you
had no
idea that
I didn't mind

Rene ~ September 2012

I was just feeling like a "big for her size" 14 year old this morning...
And this is the havoc I chose to wreak on the planet. It's a little thin after the hook brings you back part... Work in progress. I'll flesh it out a little more. Maybe. If I feel like it.

Sweet havoc.

29 comments:

  1. flesh it out a little more? hee!

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  2. Actually, Rene, I think most women will relate to those days, those feelings. And your "flesh it out" comment cracked me up. You jokester, you!

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  3. No need to flesh it out! I loved and related to it. It literally took me back to a time where I felt the exact same emotions.

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    Replies
    1. Aww Thank you Simone. You are sweet to say that.

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  4. Rene, this will touch a place deep in the psyche of any woman reading it ... great, great!!!

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  5. i was a straight man in your curvy world....ugh....hard enough to be comfortable with yourself sometimes....much less having someone remind you often

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  6. It got better Brian. Read the poem again. I've changed it a bit.

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    Replies
    1. interesting...i like the changes...this is pretty mental stuff here rene...well written, but def twisty...still to care for him in spite of it or because of it...oy

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  7. Oh, I completely relate to this one. Being the girl with the ethnic nose and lots of hormones and never the right place to put them.

    Esp love "maybe
    our conversations
    could have

    gone somewhere
    instead of falling
    flat"

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  8. Oh I think most of us have had those moments........the good news? when you get as old as I am, you just dont care any more, act outrageous, let your hair be frizzy,and just laugh hysterically at the whole human drama. Keep your sense of humor, kiddo. It will see you through:)

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  9. really nice job. I had a buddy in high school that used the Carpenter's dream line all the time, although, when nobody replied to him, he felt the need to consistently explain it, as if we'd forgotten lol You did a nice job creating the moment, yet also added in reflection and a definite style/tone, really enjoyed. Thanks for sharing tonight.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for hosting, Fred. And for stopping by.

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  10. it can be so hard, being 14 and in the midst of puberty waves love ourselves like we are...well written..a deep look into your mind and i think most of us can relate to it

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  11. Strange, I have very few memories of puberty so it must have been unbearable! Nice to see the humour under the horror

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  12. Love it Rene. Simple, fresh and a real transporter back to my younger days. I was the opposite of the carpenters dream which brought on a different set of comments. Sigh.

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  13. Jotter Girl. That was me in high school, simple and fresh :)

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  14. I used to love it when the Muppets would pick on Jim Henson and sass him back. You realize how God must feel some days.

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  15. Exactly Fred. Exactly. Some days are filled with ignorant yip yappings of unrepentant Muppets.

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  16. In don't think I would change anything! I am feeling it and remembering my own discomforts when I was younger--great piece!

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  17. "and thought of me
    when I couldn't even
    stand myself"

    Wow, that's harsh, especially because it sounds true.

    laffin @ unrepentant muppets!

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  18. This poem needs little to no work. Really really good.

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