i was a carpenter's dream
you never could
shut up
about that
i was more than just
geometry
you didn't
own
you lacked the tools
and sense
to figure
that out
hormones and swelling glands
navigating
your every
move
yet you
bothered with me
when I couldn't even
stand myself
if only
i could have
changed
my breasts
or cut
away
my ethnic
nose
maybe
our conversations
could have
gone somewhere
instead of falling
flat
like your idiotic
punchlines
i was
always the
straight man in your
perfect, curvy world
forever waiting for
the hook
to yank you
back
truth
be told
behind the
forced laughter
you
had no
idea that
I didn't mind
Rene ~ September 2012
I was just feeling like a "big for her size" 14 year old this morning...
And this is the havoc I chose to wreak on the planet. It's a little thin after the hook brings you back part... Work in progress. I'll flesh it out a little more. Maybe. If I feel like it.
Sweet havoc.
you never could
shut up
about that
i was more than just
geometry
you didn't
own
you lacked the tools
and sense
to figure
that out
hormones and swelling glands
navigating
your every
move
yet you
bothered with me
when I couldn't even
stand myself
if only
i could have
changed
my breasts
or cut
away
my ethnic
nose
maybe
our conversations
could have
gone somewhere
instead of falling
flat
like your idiotic
punchlines
i was
always the
straight man in your
perfect, curvy world
forever waiting for
the hook
to yank you
back
truth
be told
behind the
forced laughter
you
had no
idea that
I didn't mind
Rene ~ September 2012
I was just feeling like a "big for her size" 14 year old this morning...
And this is the havoc I chose to wreak on the planet. It's a little thin after the hook brings you back part... Work in progress. I'll flesh it out a little more. Maybe. If I feel like it.
Sweet havoc.
flesh it out a little more? hee!
ReplyDeleteStill in development
DeleteActually, Rene, I think most women will relate to those days, those feelings. And your "flesh it out" comment cracked me up. You jokester, you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got it :)
DeleteNo need to flesh it out! I loved and related to it. It literally took me back to a time where I felt the exact same emotions.
ReplyDeleteAww Thank you Simone. You are sweet to say that.
DeleteRene, this will touch a place deep in the psyche of any woman reading it ... great, great!!!
ReplyDeleteDeep in the psyche! Really? Wow!
Deletei was a straight man in your curvy world....ugh....hard enough to be comfortable with yourself sometimes....much less having someone remind you often
ReplyDeleteIt got better Brian. Read the poem again. I've changed it a bit.
ReplyDeleteinteresting...i like the changes...this is pretty mental stuff here rene...well written, but def twisty...still to care for him in spite of it or because of it...oy
DeleteThanks Brian
DeleteOh, I completely relate to this one. Being the girl with the ethnic nose and lots of hormones and never the right place to put them.
ReplyDeleteEsp love "maybe
our conversations
could have
gone somewhere
instead of falling
flat"
Love you :)
DeleteOh I think most of us have had those moments........the good news? when you get as old as I am, you just dont care any more, act outrageous, let your hair be frizzy,and just laugh hysterically at the whole human drama. Keep your sense of humor, kiddo. It will see you through:)
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind,Sherry
Deletereally nice job. I had a buddy in high school that used the Carpenter's dream line all the time, although, when nobody replied to him, he felt the need to consistently explain it, as if we'd forgotten lol You did a nice job creating the moment, yet also added in reflection and a definite style/tone, really enjoyed. Thanks for sharing tonight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting, Fred. And for stopping by.
DeleteJust fine the way it is!
ReplyDeleteit can be so hard, being 14 and in the midst of puberty waves love ourselves like we are...well written..a deep look into your mind and i think most of us can relate to it
ReplyDeleteStrange, I have very few memories of puberty so it must have been unbearable! Nice to see the humour under the horror
ReplyDeleteLove it Rene. Simple, fresh and a real transporter back to my younger days. I was the opposite of the carpenters dream which brought on a different set of comments. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteA fun work in progress, thanx.
ReplyDeleteJotter Girl. That was me in high school, simple and fresh :)
ReplyDeleteI used to love it when the Muppets would pick on Jim Henson and sass him back. You realize how God must feel some days.
ReplyDeleteExactly Fred. Exactly. Some days are filled with ignorant yip yappings of unrepentant Muppets.
ReplyDeleteIn don't think I would change anything! I am feeling it and remembering my own discomforts when I was younger--great piece!
ReplyDelete"and thought of me
ReplyDeletewhen I couldn't even
stand myself"
Wow, that's harsh, especially because it sounds true.
laffin @ unrepentant muppets!
This poem needs little to no work. Really really good.
ReplyDelete