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| le toits rouges ~ marc chagall 1953-54 |
it's an endless space
that blessed place
of nails and prophecy
where an angry bridegroom
mourns a bride
he never knew
where a lost soul
wanders and jingles
a beggar's purse sized heart
where kisses
soothe like wine
or sting like fire ants
where a mother
holds her son singing
safe tonight
it's an endless space
that blessed place
of nails and prophecy
where the moon
passes over
red roofs bright
rene ~ April 2013
for The Mag
the second and third stanza made me remember what it was like to be single, lost, ignored, and unloved.
ReplyDeletethe fifth and sixth stanza related to me on how my life staretd to make sense.
Thsi was really in your face strong and tangible. I liked it a lot.
Oh, that endless space...this piece sings of yearning in a haunting and heartfull way.
ReplyDeletenice...so much going on in the city and you bring out a few of her stories...the mom and son were emotive a bit for me...and the bridegroom, some nice touches here rene...
ReplyDeleteThe contrasting kisses are a really nice touch! I like this very much.
ReplyDeleteYou packed so much into that endless space ..
ReplyDeleteThis has a lovely cadence, and I like the 'nails and prophecy'
ReplyDeleteMakes me wish I had a red roof, instead of a flat one! LOL
ReplyDeleteSo many quiet scenes here - they add up to more than the sum of their parts.
ReplyDeleteI like the rhythm of this piece.
ReplyDelete=)
The repeated stanza is highly effective. Glad you used it only twice. Conservative with words and inference, you accent components of the painting rather than describing them. The subtlety creates power.
ReplyDeleteWhere kisses soothe or sting.. Man! Ive been there.
ReplyDeleteGreat work here. Loved it!
Intentionally rhythmic, and works very well.
ReplyDeletewhere kisses
ReplyDeletesoothe like wine
or sting like fire ants
(!) wow
An amazing write Rene!!!! I love this poem....a new fav for me of yours!! :-)
ReplyDeleteLovely rhythm, lovely write.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
There is a lot going on in that noggin of yours. I'm glad you share it with us :)
ReplyDeleteNails and prophecy - what a fantastic double act. Beautiful contrasts here.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is lovely.
ReplyDeleteI loved it!
XOXO
A.
Love this, Rene.
ReplyDeletePearl
Oh Rene.
ReplyDeletewords cannot express....
(((luv)))
Not sure if my last attempt at a comment went through, but basically I said that was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou just reminded me why I blog. You are priceless. There are not enough pennies to go in that hat to reciprocate with your artfully formed words and irreplaceable spirit....
ReplyDelete