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| Image: ParkeHarrison Magpie Tales |
when the dark presses
faith
scatters like paper
lit on fire
courage rises
and pratfalls
darkly
down waxed hospital corridors
prayers
soaked in sour wine
blister the tongue
unanswered
the body a vessel
the soul
a marionette
hijacked, voiceless
help me
if you can
reach me
here i am
Rene~March 2012
for d'Verse Poets
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| "The Nightmare" by Henry Fuseli |
I am tongue tied, at a loss for words to describe how stunning this is.
ReplyDeletehelp me if you can reach me....oy...i like the soul marionette as well...manipulated in the strings...nicely done rene
ReplyDeleteVery good. 'scatters like paper on fire'
ReplyDeleteDark and searching. Very nice write!
ReplyDeletehttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/blood-on-the-moon-3/
Fantastic imagery - not a single word out of place - I love this
ReplyDeleteI've felt this in what is known as sleep paralysis. The prayers are not answered and the presence of evil is terrible. Your poem captures that terror that stifles all cries for help.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful write, Rene. I especially like "...prayers soaked in sour wine
ReplyDeleteblister the tongue unanswered..."
the soul a marionette, that's interesting concept. hijacked marionette is even better.
ReplyDeletein the dragon's nest
I like it.. Sme good new lines for me too..
ReplyDeleteJJRod'z
I don't think I'll sleep tonight...very powerful!
ReplyDeleteSo powerful and so powerless all at the same time, Rene. I have been in the places where your poem dwells. Thank you for sharing this expressive work. The picture at the end adds poignancy.
ReplyDeleteSuperb, wonderful, wonderful words!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Excellent! I really love the desperation and the rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite:
"when the dark presses
faith
scatters like paper
lit on fire"
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
This piece is one of the most skilfully written pieces ever and for me right now it hits a nerve!
ReplyDeleteSo few words, but so rich in imagery and meaning. I applaud you.
ReplyDeleteStunning piece!
ReplyDeletepowerful indeed....well done and thanks for sharing these words
ReplyDeleteSo much to love about this, esp:
ReplyDelete"when the dark presses
faith
scatters like paper
lit on fire"
and
"help me
if you can
reach me
here i am"
a big cry for help. but we help ourselves when we awaken.
ReplyDeletesemantic feeling
If I were to select my favorite line or image, this entire piece would be selected. Exquisite, powerful, breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteA painful picture you painted with your words but beautiful said with strong emotions.
Loved the image of burnt paper flakes ascending - like a sacrificial prayer, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteLove it. Especially the ending.
ReplyDelete=)
wow - wonderful words
ReplyDelete"the body a vessel
ReplyDeletethe soul
a marionette
hijacked, voiceless"
Cornered, used, no choice--nightmare!
"the soul, a marionette, hijacked"......wow, kiddo, powerful writing!
ReplyDeletemadness prevails
ReplyDeleteRene, those last four lines are particularly striking. Thanks for being a part of FBF, but just one note for future reference, dearie...the prompt asks for a new poem, not a repost. K? Oh, I know, the devil made you do it...
ReplyDeletewow...darkness and that painting. Oh my.
ReplyDelete