It's been a godsend to me in so many ways.
A place to write.
A place to organize my thoughts.
A place to let my freak flag fly.
A place to make friends, from places that I have to put on my glasses to find on a map.
A place to grow.
A place to communicate.
The world is a smaller, more accessible place thanks to blogging.
Every day I mix with:
Forward thinkers, mass transit raconteurs, flash fictionistas, guerrilla poets, buzzword hurlers, one-line wonders, one ups-manshippers, Über Moms and Super Dads.
I don't remember a time when I've been surrounded by so many talented, funny people...
or so much unbelievable heartbreak.
I am quiet by nature.
I get a few words and one-liners in,
but I often feel like an observer in real life group conversation.
It's usually because I feel I don't have anything interesting to add.
My jokes and references are too arcane,
I am so out of the loop on post modernism and I can't even fake the funk,
I am doing all I can to keep up by just listening,
I can't keep up with the rapid fire pace of the conversation,
It is just way too heated...
Or I am fidgeting
to avoid eye contact
because I'm afraid of being called on
which always ends up with me saying the wrong thing.
And then being hideously shunned for the rest of the conversation.
Banished like an Amish.
And isn't being ignored the worst?
You say something and then it just hangs in the air unacknowledged, like a nun's fart.
In your face awkward.
And when it happens online, it's not so much in your face
but you can dream up bitchy little vignettes involving side eyes, smirks
and WTF DM's behind your back.
Don't you do that?
C'mon tell me you don't do that...
Getting back to the blogging thing...
For someone who is anxious socially,
For someone who struggles for the right words.
For someone who just needs a little more confidence to put them out there.
For someone like me...
Blogging is indeed a godsend.
It provides a place, and all of the time needed, to organize thoughts and lay them out exactly how i'd dearly love to say them in real life...
Blogger heal thyself :)
From the heart
Rene ~ January 2012