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M-80

photo credit: Rene

After we'd loosed
that last thunderclap of the
summer, up on the old Erie Lackawanna tracks,
I swear we heard the Universe exhale:
"Thank God that's fucking over with."

Me and Brady walked back to town on the rails
strutting like dimestore peacocks
smoking Marlboros
and talking
like we knew about everything
and didn't give a shit about nothin'

So Brady asks me, "You scared about startin' high school?"
"Naw, I ain't scared"
"You lie, asshole"
" Brady, you smell like a bowl of assholes, better pray you stop before school starts"
"Yeah, and I know you better pray to the titty fairy before school starts"

Usually the shit that Brady said didn't bother me,
because we were always just kinda foolin'
and playin' around but,
I don't know.
That day it was weird.

And instead of punching him the arm,
I just got all quiet.
And so he was all quiet.
And that's the way we walked
all the way home

everything all wound up tight
begging to be let alone
yet dying to be touched off
and rocketed,
screaming into the night

Rene ~

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Comments

  1. Brian MillerNovember 15, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    great capture of a tender moment of adolescents...the convo may have been a bit different but i been there...great textures to put us in the moment...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fragrant LiarNovember 15, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    And such is the crux of teen angst. Just one little word or sentiment can set them off. Well captured.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fred MillerNovember 16, 2011 at 10:46 PM

    You ever try a short story in that style? A short story in verse? Maybe it's time for a novel like that. This was a sheer pleasure to read.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousNovember 27, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    Yes, an awesome read, to be saved and read again at leisure. It was immediate, I was there from start to finish. And I so remember that feeling of

    begging to be let alone
    yet dying to be touched off...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson BarryNovember 27, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    beautiful writing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Other MaryNovember 27, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    You nailed it just right! Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  7. MarianNovember 27, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    what fred miller said.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sherry Blue SkyNovember 27, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Oh this takes me back..........great writing!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 27, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    well done! I loved reading a piece about a small moment, capturing the details of the moment. you nailed the emotions within the moment. great one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. JinksyNovember 30, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    Shades of a damp squib day... lol

    ReplyDelete

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