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| photo credit: Rene |
After we'd loosed
that last thunderclap of the summer,
up on the old Erie Lackawanna tracks,
I swear we heard the Universe exhale:
"Thank God that's feckin' over with."
Me and Brady walked back to town on the rails
struttin', smoking Marlboro's and talking
like we knew about everything
and didn't give a shit about nothin'
"You scared about startin' high school?"
"Naw, I ain't scared"
"I know you lie, ya big fat 'fraidy cat"
"Shut up, Brady and I know you better fix your stank breath before school starts"
"Yeah, and I know you better pray to the titty fairy before school starts"
Usually the shit that Brady said didn't bother me,
because we were always just kinda foolin' and playin' around but,
I don't know.
That day it was weird.
And instead of punching him the arm, I just got all quiet.
And so he was all quiet.
And that's the way we walked
all the way home
everything all wound up tight
begging to be let alone
yet dying to be touched off
and rocketed,
screaming into the night
Rene ~ November 2011
10 pennies in the hat:
great capture of a tender moment of adolescents...the convo may have been a bit different but i been there...great textures to put us in the moment...
And such is the crux of teen angst. Just one little word or sentiment can set them off. Well captured.
You ever try a short story in that style? A short story in verse? Maybe it's time for a novel like that. This was a sheer pleasure to read.
Yes, an awesome read, to be saved and read again at leisure. It was immediate, I was there from start to finish. And I so remember that feeling of
begging to be let alone
yet dying to be touched off...
beautiful writing.
You nailed it just right! Brilliant!
what fred miller said.
Oh this takes me back..........great writing!
well done! I loved reading a piece about a small moment, capturing the details of the moment. you nailed the emotions within the moment. great one!
Shades of a damp squib day... lol
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