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| photo credit: Google Images for Magpie Tales |
blood stains freckle
snow white linen
like rusted lace
i hide my face yet
i still hear the scrape
of sharp edged marbles
in your mouth
tumbling over scotch rocks
and little red last straws
nobody sees this
the more that doesn't
meet their eye
but break a leg
they've read the book
and smell the rat
the taste of bile once
on your lips, i know
this silences the barking dog
i wait, i pray you sleep
soon, soundly, sweetly
on soiled linen
as a broken spirit hides and
mends under the covers
of a library's worth of least read novels
Rene~November 2011
For d'verse ~ Poet's pub
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| photo credit: Rene |
36 pennies in the hat:
on soiled linen...the scary part is when no one else sees it...the break a leg either way is rather ominous...
nice pun -
nobody sees this
the more that doesn't
meet their eye
Very nice!
An unsettling knockout. I have images in my head, now, that don't seem to want to fade.
Boom, girl.
"little red last straws'
no umbrellas?!?
great take on these idioms with a powerful message, too... i like "little red last straws"
Yikes. This gave chills. Marbles in the mouth sent shivers down my spine. Nice.
Chilling. This makes me sad, with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And I guess that's how ya know it's good.
Use of idioms, especially the cascade at the end, builds that hopelessness. Love that ending.
dang this gave me chills..
as broken spirits hide
and mend under the covers
of least read novels... fine write...
Disturbing but in a way that can't quite be put into words. More like the accumulation of sharp edged marbles in a mouth, sleeping sweetly on soiled linen and broken spirits hiding under the covers. Good take on both prompts.
stirring lines,
well done.
It's been too long since I visited your blog. I forget what a talented poet you are. This has just reminded me.
You know, to be honest sometimes I read random poetry online and i think people just pluck words from the dictionary and put them one after another to sound clever, but I read this, and although there seemed to be disconnected images the whole thing just fell together in my mind, it is wonderful.
thanks for sharing
martine
Ooh, I really like this, Rene! The little red last straws, especially.
Kat
Devil loves a secret. Jesus loves the words and light that expose. Well done.
I too, taken by the insomniac mood, found the little red last straws the last straws.
Love this...so many idioms used in a new way...
Do you sleep (or not) with a snorer, perhaps?
First visit for me.
I'll be back!
=)
"and little red last straws"
Damn fine writing.
You put the common phrases through some serious torture to make them speak their secrets, here. Tense and ominous and like MZ says, damn good.
so disturbing yet casual -wow
Hard to let go of sharp edged marbles tumbling over scotch rocks image ... great Magpie!
A lot of amazingly gripping imagery in this one Rene....wonderful writing!!
Hiding in a book does sometimes help mend hurts - but then, so does time...Your words give us lots to think about...
Well written, this provocative read.
You are a strong writer. I'm excited to have found you.
Love your closing:
"as a broken spirit hides and
mends under the covers
of a library's worth of least read novels"
it sad when no one else sees the torment...very well written, and very sad.
purfect.
Superb, in a disconcerting sort of way. I want to keep going back to it.
as a broken spirit hides and
mends under the covers
These are thought-felt words so true!
Excellent poem, all the more powerful for what is unsaid.
Magnificent piece. Hit the spot right on!
Rene,
I can always count on you to make my trip to your place worth it!
Wow, I've missed these. This one is embarrassing, then sad, then sweet, then painfully hopeful. You got a thing, lady.
Cheers,
Casey
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