The Fifty Cent Tour

Sunday, November 13, 2011

insomnia

photo credit: Google Images
for Magpie Tales


blood stains freckle
snow white linen
like rusted lace

i hide my face yet
i still hear the scrape
of sharp edged marbles

in your mouth
tumbling over scotch rocks
and little red last straws

nobody sees this
the more that doesn't
meet their eye

but break a leg
they've read the book
and smell the rat

the taste of bile once
on your lips, i know
this silences the barking dog

i wait, i pray you sleep
soon, soundly, sweetly
on soiled linen

as a broken spirit hides and
mends under the covers
of a library's worth of least read novels


Rene~November 2011
For d'verse ~ Poet's pub
photo credit: Rene







36 comments:

  1. on soiled linen...the scary part is when no one else sees it...the break a leg either way is rather ominous...

    ReplyDelete
  2. nice pun -

    nobody sees this
    the more that doesn't
    meet their eye

    ReplyDelete
  3. An unsettling knockout. I have images in my head, now, that don't seem to want to fade.

    Boom, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "little red last straws'

    no umbrellas?!?

    ReplyDelete
  5. great take on these idioms with a powerful message, too... i like "little red last straws"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yikes. This gave chills. Marbles in the mouth sent shivers down my spine. Nice.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chilling. This makes me sad, with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

    And I guess that's how ya know it's good.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Use of idioms, especially the cascade at the end, builds that hopelessness. Love that ending.

    ReplyDelete
  9. dang this gave me chills..
    as broken spirits hide
    and mend under the covers
    of least read novels... fine write...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Disturbing but in a way that can't quite be put into words. More like the accumulation of sharp edged marbles in a mouth, sleeping sweetly on soiled linen and broken spirits hiding under the covers. Good take on both prompts.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's been too long since I visited your blog. I forget what a talented poet you are. This has just reminded me.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You know, to be honest sometimes I read random poetry online and i think people just pluck words from the dictionary and put them one after another to sound clever, but I read this, and although there seemed to be disconnected images the whole thing just fell together in my mind, it is wonderful.
    thanks for sharing
    martine

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ooh, I really like this, Rene! The little red last straws, especially.

    Kat

    ReplyDelete
  14. Devil loves a secret. Jesus loves the words and light that expose. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I too, taken by the insomniac mood, found the little red last straws the last straws.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love this...so many idioms used in a new way...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Do you sleep (or not) with a snorer, perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
  18. First visit for me.

    I'll be back!

    =)

    ReplyDelete
  19. "and little red last straws"

    Damn fine writing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You put the common phrases through some serious torture to make them speak their secrets, here. Tense and ominous and like MZ says, damn good.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hard to let go of sharp edged marbles tumbling over scotch rocks image ... great Magpie!

    ReplyDelete
  22. A lot of amazingly gripping imagery in this one Rene....wonderful writing!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hiding in a book does sometimes help mend hurts - but then, so does time...Your words give us lots to think about...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well written, this provocative read.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You are a strong writer. I'm excited to have found you.

    Love your closing:

    "as a broken spirit hides and
    mends under the covers
    of a library's worth of least read novels"

    ReplyDelete
  26. it sad when no one else sees the torment...very well written, and very sad.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Superb, in a disconcerting sort of way. I want to keep going back to it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. as a broken spirit hides and
    mends under the covers

    These are thought-felt words so true!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Excellent poem, all the more powerful for what is unsaid.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Magnificent piece. Hit the spot right on!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Rene,
    I can always count on you to make my trip to your place worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Wow, I've missed these. This one is embarrassing, then sad, then sweet, then painfully hopeful. You got a thing, lady.

    Cheers,

    Casey

    ReplyDelete

Please drop a penny in a poet's hat :