The Fifty Cent Tour

Sunday, March 27, 2011

terrestrial lovesick blues


i'm so tired of
tangling
with the moon
over you
the way she leaves you
hanging
as she changes
her view
yet there you wait
starry eyed,
thumbin'
or a ride
for her to
come around
and take you
with the tide

me,
i’m not celestial
got my feet
in the clay

i'm down
to earth
yeah babe,
terrestrial

my desire's not
a phase
if i could have
your full attention

to show you that
my shine
is real love,
not a reflection

from the fire
that burns inside

but i'm so tired of
tangling
and i'm tired of
waiting
as she leaves you
hanging,
pining,
changing her view

could i just have
some of your affection
i'd like to
show you

real love, not a reflection
love true blue

Rene ~ 2013


23 comments:

  1. sounds like someone has heavenly bodies in their eyes instead of hearts on their minds...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love is lunacy, babe. ;-) There's just no explaining it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The moon does weird things to all of us...
    xoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  4. your writing just gets better and better, rene. it's exhilirating!

    ReplyDelete
  5. i agree with marian. your poems always have such economy of language, so much depth of meaning with so few words.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rene,
    This reads like lyrics to a soulfully sung song. Find a collaborator!

    ReplyDelete
  7. saw the moon pic on Pearl's sidebar blogroll.
    I like the reflection idea.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Really like the title. The words flow really well.

    me, i’m not celestial
    got my feet in the clay
    i'm down to earth
    yeah babe, terrestrial
    my desire's not a phase

    this is defintely my favorite part.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I tend to agree with Kim Nelson above - this would make a beautiful song. The words alone have a musical quality, too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, yeah, especially lovely! I think somebody said it ought to be a song, and I completely agree!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fucking. Brilliant. Girl, definitely my favorite of yours and boy does it speak volumes. Reminds me of a time a little over a year ago, getting out of something that wasn't good. Yet with a musical twang. Killer.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks to Brian's comment, I'm reminded of that Earl Thomas Conley song "Heavenly Bodies." It's so perfect.

    "I'm gonna sit here from now until closing time,
    just working on making your heavenly body all mine."

    It's everything that's right about country music.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love that first line and of course all the rest too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is beautiful! The first stanza is my favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This whole poem went by me singing to the tune of an old Canned Heat song (so tired of crawlin/but i'm up/on the road again)it really is a/the blues--and man, they are hard to shake. Been there, and that reflection is blinding. Fine poem, Rene.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love this piece. The flow is smooth and I am left with a powerful feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  17. i remember tangling with the moon at one time...it is a hair raising event that leads to growth and resounding strength...nice...bkm

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love everything about this poem - the contrast between the airy changeable people and the earth-bound, practical people. Never the two shall meet, I'm afraid.

    ReplyDelete
  19. New way here and a good one of saying those things...the friend that tells you everything about the love of his life while you only have eyes for him. Very creative and fresh. Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you all for the wonderful comments.

    ReplyDelete

Please drop a penny in a poet's hat :