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newly wicked


after the fall
she bathed him 
in kisses of both
the good and evil sort
as he wept gently
contritely
wide awake
back hurting
tossing
turning
she coiled into herself
as twelve serpents
gnawed through
her middle 
hissing
jesting
ah,woman
if only you'd known
if only you knew
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Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 19, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    Awesome! You thrilled ME!!!

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  2. Brian MillerMarch 19, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    ew...12 serpents in ones belly is not a good thing...on the second reading this seems a little saucy too...

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  3. UnknownMarch 19, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Ah man
    Some day you will know
    Some day you will know
    If you're lucky!

    I thoroughly enjoyed this one!

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  4. Casey FreelandMarch 19, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Thank the powers that she did what she did, giving us the lust and desire. Hmmmm... Great work.

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  5. ianMarch 19, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    another finely crafted poem. thank you for sharing.

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  6. LanceMarch 19, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    uh, there's nekkid people in your poem.

    I like the flow. well done.

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  7. Irish GumboMarch 19, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    That's a lot of allegory. And good.

    "Trusssst in meeeee, jussst in meeee..."

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  8. MarianMarch 20, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    i of course would risk the serpents. yum.

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  9. AnonymousMarch 20, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    I like this poem very much.

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  10. Kerry O'ConnorMarch 20, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    This is simply stunning. What a vision of humanity! What poetry!
    Thank you for sharing this with us in the pantry.

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  11. Fragrant LiarMarch 20, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    Well done, Rene!

    I love the painting, with the ivy on the guy's privey, and the expression on the cat. is like, I don't wanna be here when it all goes down.

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  12. signed...bkmMarch 20, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Rene, I love your use of the number twelve...its symbolism in this tale of creation can be linked to so many things, the disciples, the months, the zodiac ...I am sure you had something in mind..but its use leaves a world of possibilites that makes the poem universal....blessings...bkm

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  13. Sherry Blue SkyMarch 20, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    Wowzers, this is a fantastic read! Love the take from his point of view. Really well done!

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  14. Judy RoneyMarch 20, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Erotic and the ewwww..lots of emotions in this one.

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  15. Beth DunnMarch 20, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    You wrote that? It's great!
    xxo
    SC

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  16. jenny_oMarch 20, 2011 at 6:11 PM

    I'm reading this as the discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of labour that resulted after "the fall". And I really liked it. New to your corner of blogland, but hope to be back.

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  17. AnonymousMarch 20, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    moving. exactly what I needed to hear today.

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  18. PhotoDictionMarch 20, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    Very powerful imagery and a great retelling of what went down in that Garden of Eden... newly wicked. Wonderful!

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  19. AnonymousMarch 20, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    bravo...

    awesome art, your poetry is divine.

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  20. Brother OllieMarch 21, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Untold stories from the bible.

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  21. PearlMarch 21, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    Such imagery! I am always delighted, Rene...

    Pearl

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  22. AnonymousMarch 21, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    Greetings:

    Week 27 Poetry Potluck is open, welcome/Thanks (4) joining us…share your poetry with us today…

    Friendship Awards, Enjoy!

    Happy Monday,
    Bless you!
    xxx

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  23. AnonymousMarch 21, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Amazing retake on the story of the Fall--shows how deception is at the root of all our troubles.

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  24. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallMarch 21, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    smart one.
    A++

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  25. AnonymousMarch 22, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    i really enjoyed this my friend.. best i read after 140 poems i got thru in the potluck! here's mine.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/paper-scribbles/

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  26. MarianMarch 22, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    just coming back to lick this poem again, apparently. ;)

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  27. robkistnerMarch 22, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    tantalizing and mysterious...

    ...rob kistner
    Image & Verse

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  28. FireblossomMarch 22, 2011 at 9:53 PM

    Price-less, woman.

    Ditch him!

    ReplyDelete
  29. dustusMarch 22, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    I'm thinking they'll be expecting. Wonderful writing. Fantastic use of symbolism.

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  30. Big Sur BlogisphereMarch 23, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    My wife and I often appear like this painting when we are lounging at our favorite wilderness hot springs. I never would think that we have done something wrong in our innocence except for forgetting to bring the sunblock.

    Did I miss something?

    OneLove--Tiger

    PS I love snakes

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  31. Shashidhar SharmaMarch 23, 2011 at 4:00 AM

    Dear Rene

    its beautifully evocative and powerful... 'As he wept gently / Contritely' great words...
    loved the picture too... Thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-seed-and-senseless-living.html
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

    ReplyDelete
  32. ElaineMarch 23, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    Who can say, it like Rene? (Oooo that rhymes.) Brilliant piece of writing...even with the snakes!

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  33. Carrie Van HornMarch 23, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Wow Rene...this is amazing...your writing burns with passion and truth! :-)

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  34. KavitaMarch 24, 2011 at 5:19 AM

    Whheew!! So NOW I know whom to blame for all those hidden "oohy" feelings inside :)

    LOVED this one, Rene!!!

    (creeps for the snakes.. but never mind those.. not in your poem at least :))

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousMarch 24, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Inventive and well-built take on The Fall, which in itself is gutsy as a) well, it's The Fall and b)you put yourself out there by writing on a subject that virtually everyone is familiar with and is equally likely to have their own take on. This is very, very fine work.

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  36. LisaMarch 27, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    Well done, you! First thing I've read on this lovely Sunday. I especially love this bit:

    "she coiled into herself
    as twelve serpents
    gnawed through
    her middle"

    :D

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  37. AnonymousMarch 28, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    I enjoyed this. Great writing!

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  38. JulieFaithMarch 29, 2011 at 2:33 AM

    Bravo!

    ReplyDelete

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