The Fifty Cent Tour

Monday, March 14, 2011

barbadosed


underneath untamed
untamable earth
transplanted roots
tangled and took
hold unrecognized,
red legged and
darkly twisted
a same boat muchness
it was either this or hell
luckily, this was far worse
as this was unexpected
for this turbulent, eroded
uncontrolled dragons mouth
was perfect for apes and
bearded savages
to run amok this place
was for cave dwellers
this was no place for settlers


Rene ~ March 2011


Photo by Tess Kincaid for Magpie Tales

33 comments:

  1. dang...effective...it took two readings, but...this dragons mouth, no place for settlers but for savages...i like it...

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  2. awesome take,
    love the twists and wit in it.

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  3. Wonderful words as always Rene!

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  4. "a same boat muchness
    it was either this or hell"
    love it!
    who says muchness?
    ME! from now on...

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  5. Delicious. I devoured these words twice. Out loud.

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  6. This one just flows. Did your pen ever leave the paper?
    On the message... I chose to come to this savage land. The better to tame my own beasts. And you? ;-)

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  7. 'transplanted roots' ... from where we come. Rene, this is a great poem.

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  8. Does "bearded savages" refer to me?

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  9. I was very impressed by your poem, thank you

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  10. "it was either this or hell,
    luckily, this was far worse"

    i love those lines, together.

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  11. Powerful Rene...such a different take on this image from others...well done!

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  12. Dear Rene

    Very raw and strong verse... so hitting and vivid.. I enjoyed it very much..


    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-love-and-insignificance.html
    Connect me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  13. i love the turbulent, eroded
    uncontrolled dragons mouth..

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  14. Love no place for settlers...for cave dwellers...that is a mythical place indeed...bkm

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  15. primrose. One of my favorites.

    Like you.

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  16. Excellent use of metaphors and colorful, evocative language.

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  17. Outstanding, Rene! "...took
    hold unrecognized,
    red legged and
    darkly twisted..." just one image, conjured from a wonderful use of language.

    Poetry24…where news is the Muse

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  18. Love the alliteration and vivid images!

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  19. same boat muchness? god how i love you.

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  20. You captured a time and place....this is amazing Rene! :-)

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  21. Well, I don't know that I can thrill you. I'm not sure exactly what's going on here but I like the language. I find "a same boat muchness" captivating, even if I don't know what it means.

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  22. What wild, vivid words! Wonderful.

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  23. Whooaa!! Some amazing wordplay here!!
    Raw, vivid and fantastic!!
    I slipped back eras with this one..

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  24. You hit this one out of the park- excellent imagery- apes and bearded savages

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  25. I don't fully understand it, but am fascinated by the imagery.

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  26. You just keep getting better and better Rene.

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  27. Hey Hey! A fine piece indeed. I love how it veers from the simulates here!

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