i did believe
you had stopped
listening
still i kept on
talking
not about you,
or me
or us
but of things
around
rather than in between
i spoke of citrus
pine boughs
and
cinnamon
cinnamon
foot prints
in virgin snow
you fed a chickadee
out of the palm of your hand
pin dropping-ly
speechless
i broke from
i broke from
singing
unending songs of glory
and watched
in admiration
a dance of joy,
and watched
in admiration
a dance of joy,
wonder, pure
evident
silent,
bright
Rene ~ 2010
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silent,
bright
Rene ~ 2010
***One Stop Poetry is now calling for submissions. If you wish to post an article, highlight an artist, or use our platform to promote a worthy cause; we'd like to here from you.
Ah, very nice. Evocative. I saw it in my head and felt it in my heart. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteLovely. Goes in a completely unexpected but wonderful direction.
ReplyDelete"...i spoke of citrus
ReplyDeletepine boughs and cinnamon,..."
Can one really speak of such things? yes, yes, and you did. I have their taste and smell in my mouth, mixing in the steam billowing from there in the cold night.
sigh. marvelous.
yeah that was beautiful...but you know that...smiles.
ReplyDeleteMore to things than meets the eye, and more mysteries than we can know. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteShhh! Don't mention that reindeer in the room!
ReplyDeleteI was raised by this couple. There was the Chamber of Commerce version of how things were, and to suggest that that was bullshit was to be stared at as if one had just landed from Mars.
Fireblossom, it's going to kill you but, this was based on an actual event...not my actual event, but an actual event all the same.
ReplyDeleteI pinky swear to you :)
~Rene
I really, really like this one.
ReplyDeleteI'm long overdue for a comment here, but I just wanted to let you know I'm still here, quietly reading along.
Bravo!! great writing :)
ReplyDeleteThis is very good writing. Was it a prelude to teasing the other person to react, I wonder?
ReplyDeleteRene this is lovely. I'm so glad you found my blog so I could find yours!
ReplyDeletevery interesting read. Had me the whole way. Kudos
ReplyDeleteRegards
Luke @ WordSalad
A sweet snap-shot (One Shot) of winter joy, Rene.
ReplyDeleteWell, I feel thick as I don;t get it, shame on me, as beautiful as the words sound all together. :(
ReplyDeleteWell, you can colour me "pin droppingly speechless", because this was simply marvellous! You do a great turn of phrase, expressing the mundane in surprising ways that mines the magic that's always there before our eyes. Fantastic! :-)
ReplyDeletefootprints of virgin snow, oh that thought made me smile in thsi chilly winter
ReplyDeleteFab, fab, fab. Great imagery and economy of language. Love and Light, Sender
ReplyDeleteSilent romance is ultra romantic.. cuz this silence can sing louder than the loudest!!
ReplyDeleteGosh.. your imagery was so vivid here... I felt I was watching a movie!
A masterfully done One Shot!!!
I'm sorry, did you say something?
ReplyDeleteSolid work, my friend. :)
Rene, have not read you before. Listening with one's eyes, lovely.
ReplyDeleteI'll see again soon! Writer's Isle connected us. Take care,
Amy Barlow Liberatore
And you have been writing with all the senses. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a talent!
ReplyDeleteSensuous imagery very well written,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
it sounds as if this may have really occurred? A lovely story you've created either way very sweet!
ReplyDeleteI really like where you went with this.....nicely done and thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete