The Fifty Cent Tour

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

unicorn blues

Magpie Tales #37


woke up this mornin'
beside myself
just me, myself
starin' at myself
forty days bleedin'
into forty nights

i can't make it right
can't stand my sight


risin' river
drownin' hopes of love

no sign of light from
them clouds above

down below
just a lonely gaze

silent and haunting
through the smoky haze



green valley memories
swirl and tease my head

and what you said
before you fled
promised me that
i'd find love again

a true soul friend
at different rainbow ends


risin' river
drownin' hopes of love
no sign of light from
them clouds above
down below
just a lonely gaze
silent and haunting
through the smoky haze

Rene ~ 2010


Whoa! Sorry for the mega depressing magpie! 
I even bummed myself out after reading this.
It is in no way autobiographical, so worry not gentle readers.
I usually go with my first thoughts when doing Magpies...my first thought upon seeing the photo prompt was loneliness...which led to me thinking about unicorns (because of that song)...and you know the rest. 
My mind is pretty much a carnival ride.
Two monkeys with a yo-yo on a ferris wheel. :)




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50 comments:

  1. nice piece...some subtle references here that add depth to it...and hope your rainbow comes soon...and love...smiles.

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  2. Two monkeys and a yo-yo... okay, I was all bummed out, but now I'm laughing like a hyena on moonshine.

    You've got the gift, Sistah.

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  3. I imagined and enjoyed your poem.But when I read the last para,man,you made me lol!

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  4. "Two monkeys and a yoyo..."

    You slay me, Lady. It is an exquisite death!

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  5. You gots the sight, my dear. It's the irish in you: we know the up side of down :)

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  6. You had me going for a ride there. Up and down and all around. You write fabulously rich. I bow to the artist.

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  7. I was gonna say... trying to outdo some of them old-school country songs, are you?

    What's that they say? Play the song backwards; get it all back.

    I'll read your poem backwards now. ;)

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  8. Glad it is not autobiographical. So easy to assume.... I usually go with what comes to my mind first. Sometimes it surprises even me, but sometimes there is a reason for something to be written. I honor that. And I honor YOUR writing.

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  9. That's perfectly fine Rene, and adds depth and variety to your writing. :)

    BTW, you might care to read my side bar when you should happen to have a chance. i suspect you might get a chuckle out of it, along with some others, I'm quite sure. :)

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  10. I can almost hear the song as I read the words! :)

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  11. Very well written, it flows as on music, as a song but lived through and truly felt. Glad it's not you,,,but it shows you feel others!
    loved the monkeys too !

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  12. its depressing but your soul is young :)

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  13. Depressing, perhaps . . . but interesting nevertheless.

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  14. Very well written, and a good idea to save the gentle readers at the end ... I REALLY do worry sometimes after reading some!! smiles :o)

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  15. Yes, somewhat depressing poetic substances, yet you add the last para to fill us with a more whimsical tone... love the 'Two monkeys with a yo-yo on a ferris wheel. LOL

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  16. For me, not depressing but certainly sad.

    So glad you added a note for your gentle readers.

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  17. It may lean a tad toward depressing .. BUT I found your Magpie lyrical and full of magic!!

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  18. ...a true soul friend...

    That wd b soooooo wonderful.

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  19. loved "a true soul friend at a different rainbow ends".
    loved it.

    fall makes me melancholy

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  20. Dear Rene: Very cryptic, just the right amount of elusiveness too ripe to pique...have to wonder about the
    "promised me that i'd find love again
    a true soul friend
    at different rainbow ends". Compromises to live life in the real versus the ideal? Got my two monkey mojo going on this one! Excellent!

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  21. I didn't think your poem was so much depressing as it was true to the moment. We all know those feelings and poetry exposes all.

    Glad it wasn't autobiographical and that you can laugh and make us laugh too. I love the monkeys.

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  22. 'endless frights
    can't stand my sight' Yes, that's how rejection feels, but after only forty nights, 'green valley daydreams always fill my head'. Oh to be that young again!

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  23. have no fear...I assume the magpies to be fiction
    and this one was a good read for me
    you set a scene

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  24. Glad this isn't autobiographical for you, but it kind of goes with my mood today. :/

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  25. no apologizing for your words! it was awesome, very patsy cline vibe going on :)

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  26. I keep wanting to comment on this. I come here skipping along, humming contentedly to myself, then I read this and commenting seems exhausting beforehand, so I just go back to bed. Gah.

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  27. Oh, this piece is just beggin' for some music! So lyrical.

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  28. "Two monkeys with a yo-yo on a Ferris wheel."

    :-) That just tickles me.

    Glad it's not autobiographical -- and Willow's right: another one that should be set to music, perhaps an acoustic guitar...

    Pearl

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  29. You 'poor depressed' Peep-full-of HAPPINESS!!!

    Two yo-yo's and a monkey--no! Wait a minute! That's ALSO backward...

    LOVED every purr-fectly-placed word!

    PEACE!
    Steve E

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  30. I enjoyed it. I like how it scans.

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  31. it reads like a conversation,
    lovely style,
    stunning conclusion...
    keep it coming.

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  32. Rene - You are a great writer and yes I too found this a little sad. However, when I read "Two monkeys with a yo-yo on a ferris wheel" I had to laugh. You are my kind of gal I am glad we hooked up thanks to Magpie! Have a great week!

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  33. "I even bummed myself" - this made me laugh. Good to know that this is a work of fiction!

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  34. you are so talented. you KNOW that, right? right.



    x

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  35. What a find..I love the monkey line as well. Very very good.

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  36. Glad it isn't true for you.

    The flow of the words... Wonderful.

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  37. The sound of this piece is gorgeous--makes me want to sing.

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  38. What a great sounding poem. Very musical. Glad to have found this site!

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  39. Thank you all for your comments and such...and for taking a ride with me and the monkeys on the ferris wheel

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  40. "Risin' river drownin' hopes of love"
    perfectly perfect for a country song!

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  41. I like the repeated verse - like a refrain.

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  42. great magpie, but my favorite line was the (two-monkeys with a yo-yo on a ferris wheel...)...that is the making of a great write....blessings...bkm

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  43. I liked this one, def. felt like it could be put to music, some real good wailing.

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  44. Dear Rene
    I love the places you took me to, lonely though it may seem. Keep on smiling Rene.

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  45. Don't apologize -- the best stuff is NOT puppies and sunshine. The imagery here is haunting -- and that's a good thing.

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  46. I loved the carnival ride your mind took with this one! I imagine it being lyrics to a folk/country song.

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  47. Rene,

    I love your black side (and your red side too for that matter - that dress!!) I too find myself writing about sad and lonely things at times but i am the opposite in real life. I guess we all have the capacity to feel the full gamut of emotions - thank goodness, so writing about them doesn't make us them. Just means we're in touch with them. You write so you're a writer.

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  48. Rene this is beautifully sad...love the flow and well chozen images...by the way love the new look on your blog! :-)

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  49. One again, thank you all for taking time to read my stuff...I really appreciate all of the love and feedback.

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