The Fifty Cent Tour

Sunday, May 15, 2011

lighthouse




the moon has drawn
across your chest
a path, 
a gateway,
an airstrip,
a sliver of light under a bolted door,
a weakness underlined,
a hurdle,
a wall
the urgent, naked glow of opportunity?
or
the dim fluorescent nuisance of an object out of reach
you sleep soundly
as i fight the pull of the tide
exhausted
i put my hand on your chest
a silver, white shoreline
swim parallel

Rene Foran ~ July 2010

28 comments:

  1. i'd say there is probably going to be fog on the water, what with all the heat...smiles. nice write.

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  2. I love the image of swimming parallel along the silver shore. Your imagination is astounding.

    Casey

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  3. a sliver of light under a bolted door...

    As an architect, I'm a sucker for a well-turned phrase that invokes building pieces, and light.

    Marvelous.

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  4. Rene,
    you are
    soo very good at this.

    i'd rather read you than
    any other famous literary poet...
    but now they are in good company!

    of you.

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  5. You write like a student I had about twenty years ago when I was young and dumb. Had to ace her and get her out of my life before I did something stupid. Outstanding!

    TheFredEffect

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  6. oh Rene I really LOVED that one.

    You are an amazing spirit.......

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  7. What a way with words.
    Beautiful,
    jj

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  8. That is beautiful.

    Appropriate for the full moon. xo

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  9. Swim parallel.

    If that isn't the perfect metaphor for marriage I don't know what is.

    Are you still breathing? Hope so. Swimming, swimming, ...

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  10. Rene, this is another outstanding poem. You are truly talented, and I'd like to place an advance order for your book now!! (Let me know as soon as you decide on the price ... I think I'll take 5 copies, actually.)

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  11. *plink*

    incredible.

    hopeless
    hopeful
    resigned
    contemplative
    promising

    all in how many words ?

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  12. Dear Rene:

    your poetry is super delicious,
    love the perspective here,
    rich texture and beautiful sentiments,
    they make your work real and magical at the same time.

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  13. I don't think my first comment posted...I love the visuals in this poem and enjoyed your "About me..." confessions, too. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

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  14. This was THE perfect definition of "you know what"!
    Neatly put, Rene...
    "a sliver of light under a bolted door,
    a weakness underlined," -- totally loved these lines in particular... they held a LOT of meaning hidden in them... phheew!

    Thank you so much for linking this beautiful poem with poetry potluck, R... I hope you had/ar having a great time at the potluck! :)

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  15. Hmm yeah, "objects in the bedroom may be further away than they appear"?

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  16. Sensational take on marriage/relationship. Amazing demonstration of taking an object (in this case, a flash of light across your partner's chest) and picking it up and running away with it in terms of likening it to something else- more difficult to do than I first imagined any time that I have tried. Your imagination is vast. Great prompt response.

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  17. What an imaginative and intimate prelude to slumbers. So cool how you wrote this with such well crafted projections and conjecture.

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  18. It's not only light houses that light up the world...words can do it too!

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  19. Beautiful imagery being used here! I liked the flow as well

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  20. Saw that I'd commented on this way back. Read it again as though it was the first time. Great match to the prompt.

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  21. This is a beautiful metaphor of love and marriage.

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  22. Great response with your focus on the horizon. Such an imaginative combination of the images/elements in the photo. I love it!

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  23. Inread it three times and enjoyed it more each time. There is a lot for me to learn from here.

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  24. Alegria ImperialMay 16, 2011 at 3:31 AM

    I love hos it builds up to the last two lines...perfect, masterfully written!

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