The Fifty Cent Tour

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Fallen

"blanket of stars" ~ Rene 2009

“You'll find trouble in paradise
if you seek paradise in trouble“…

he proclaims the news 
in his best
outside,
 bible belted voice
from his lawnchair pulpit
 in front of the Polaris Shop n Fill

he's been there for years
a humming fluorescent martyr
saving scratch off souls
seated
 at the right hand
of a sputtering neon star

 his words gave her pause
hung up inside
 white smoke and illuminated
 by silver winks and blue flickers
the star twinkles off
the bell on the door jingles

she pays for her fill-up
 buys him a cup of coffee
and a pack of cigs
for all that she has done
and failed
 to do

this will make it right
this will make it right
this will make it right

he smiles at her offerings
they are acceptable gifts
she is good
she is good
she is good
the bell on the door jingles

the star hisses
 back to life
looking down
she smiles
a smile of mock contrition
she bums a cigarette
the bell on the door jingles
she lights up
she gets in her car
she pulls out
kicking up a spray of gravel
she will be good

someday


31 comments:

  1. Lovely, Rene

    You have an amazing talent. Your writing takes me in and puts me in a different place even if only for a small while.

    Thank You!

    Smiles~Felinae~

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  2. It was very interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more soon.

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  3. You are so gifted Rene. And this poem brought so much imagery to mind. Especially about him thanking her for the smokes..I could picture a face, the earnest appreciation. Loved it.

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  4. love finds a way and it is often in the unlikely circumstances. i think Peter may understand, more than we know...

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  5. I'm not much for poetry but I really liked this one.

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  6. Wow! I think one of the reasons I like this one so much is I'm guessing you actually did this for the man in the chair.

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  7. Fulfilling two people's needs.....

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  8. Great stuff, Rene. You are an amazing writer! I especially liked the last stanza. Very clever.

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  9. It was like watching a little movie in my head... so clear and vivid. You're good, my friend. In many ways.

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  10. "Peter picking up the tab for Paul"......genius...wow...

    what a terrific poem..you are a talented writer...

    it was wonderful...as always

    More later,
    kary

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  11. You are an incredible poet!! The images you create...the moments your words capture...truly gripping...I am held by your poetic narrative...simply fabulous! ~Janine XO

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  12. so much
    heart and
    simple depth and
    visual...

    lovely, Rene~

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  13. Very cool, Rene. "Penance for her paradise." I like that.

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  14. Rene, how do you do it? Every post becomes my new favorite!

    Your muse...at her best at 2am ;)

    Lynn

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  15. I was thinking about that song by Everlast as I read this. "What it's like".

    Not the poem writing itself, but the theme of it. The writing is superb!

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  16. Wow Rene! I was totally drawn in to that!
    Wonderful!!!!
    xo

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  17. You are an amazing writer! Happy vgno!

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  18. Gripping poem...I'm surprised to see my blog's name on the bottom of it. Thanks for the plug ;-) I really appreciate it!

    Nice meeting you. I'll be back!

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  19. Wow you are a talented writer! Poetry is something I'm not that great at even though I can write well otherwise.

    Happy VGNO btw!

    Tamara
    www.theunexperiencedmom.com

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  20. Wow very pretty!

    And happy VGNO!

    Lisa
    www.retrohousewifegoesgreen.com

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  21. Thank you so much for sharing this.

    Wow.

    I'm so happy... that isn't even strong enough of a word... I'm just so HAPPY (:-> ) that you joined in the Virtual Girls Night Out. I love your blog.

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  22. Very thought provoking! You really have a way with words.

    Hpe you had a great VGNO!

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  23. Wonderfully done. :) I love it.

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  24. Like Braja says, it's not a gift of charity really. It's an exchange. You both get something out of it.

    Nice.

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  25. Thank you all for your kind comments...and welcome new readers and VGNO participants!

    This post started ( in my head) at around 2AM one morning

    Peace ~ Rene

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  26. i love poems that tell stories. great job.

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  27. Hi,
    Incredible talent you reveal here. I love the mental images that float gently through my mind, led by such expressive descriptions. Thanks for sharing.

    As for this comment, "This post started ( in my head) at around 2AM one morning,"

    Do ideas ever start at any other time? It seems to me that the best ideas ONLY start in the middle of the night. Thanks, again. ~ Yaya

    Yaya's Changing World

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  28. I have those ideas in the middle of the night too. What an amazing talent you have!

    Happy VGNO!

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