"blanket of stars" ~ Rene 2009
if you seek paradise in trouble“…
he proclaims the news
in his best
outside,
bible belted voice
from his lawnchair pulpit
bible belted voice
from his lawnchair pulpit
in front of the Polaris Shop n Fill
he's been there for years
a humming fluorescent martyr
saving scratch off souls
seated
at the right hand
a humming fluorescent martyr
saving scratch off souls
seated
at the right hand
of a sputtering neon star
his words gave her pause
hung up inside
white smoke and illuminated
by silver winks and blue flickers
the star twinkles off
by silver winks and blue flickers
the star twinkles off
the bell on the door jingles
she pays for her fill-up
buys him a cup of coffee
and a pack of cigs
for all that she has done
and failed
to do
for all that she has done
and failed
to do
this will make it right
this will make it right
this will make it right
this will make it right
this will make it right
he smiles at her offerings
they are acceptable gifts
they are acceptable gifts
she is good
she is good
she is good
the bell on the door jingles
the star hisses
back to life
looking down
she is good
she is good
the bell on the door jingles
the star hisses
back to life
looking down
she smiles
a smile of mock contrition
she bums a cigarette
a smile of mock contrition
she bums a cigarette
the bell on the door jingles
she lights up
she gets in her car
she pulls out
kicking up a spray of gravel
she will be good
someday
she lights up
she gets in her car
she pulls out
kicking up a spray of gravel
she will be good
someday
Lovely, Rene
ReplyDeleteYou have an amazing talent. Your writing takes me in and puts me in a different place even if only for a small while.
Thank You!
Smiles~Felinae~
It was very interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more soon.
ReplyDeleteYou are so gifted Rene. And this poem brought so much imagery to mind. Especially about him thanking her for the smokes..I could picture a face, the earnest appreciation. Loved it.
ReplyDeletelove finds a way and it is often in the unlikely circumstances. i think Peter may understand, more than we know...
ReplyDeleteI'm not much for poetry but I really liked this one.
ReplyDeleteWow! I think one of the reasons I like this one so much is I'm guessing you actually did this for the man in the chair.
ReplyDeleteFulfilling two people's needs.....
ReplyDeleteexcellent
ReplyDeleteheaven and hell
Great stuff, Rene. You are an amazing writer! I especially liked the last stanza. Very clever.
ReplyDeleteIt was like watching a little movie in my head... so clear and vivid. You're good, my friend. In many ways.
ReplyDelete"Peter picking up the tab for Paul"......genius...wow...
ReplyDeletewhat a terrific poem..you are a talented writer...
it was wonderful...as always
More later,
kary
You are an incredible poet!! The images you create...the moments your words capture...truly gripping...I am held by your poetic narrative...simply fabulous! ~Janine XO
ReplyDeleteso much
ReplyDeleteheart and
simple depth and
visual...
lovely, Rene~
absolutely amazing.
ReplyDeleteas usual.
Very cool, Rene. "Penance for her paradise." I like that.
ReplyDeleteRene, how do you do it? Every post becomes my new favorite!
ReplyDeleteYour muse...at her best at 2am ;)
Lynn
I was thinking about that song by Everlast as I read this. "What it's like".
ReplyDeleteNot the poem writing itself, but the theme of it. The writing is superb!
Wow Rene! I was totally drawn in to that!
ReplyDeleteWonderful!!!!
xo
You are an amazing writer! Happy vgno!
ReplyDeleteGripping poem...I'm surprised to see my blog's name on the bottom of it. Thanks for the plug ;-) I really appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteNice meeting you. I'll be back!
Wow you are a talented writer! Poetry is something I'm not that great at even though I can write well otherwise.
ReplyDeleteHappy VGNO btw!
Tamara
www.theunexperiencedmom.com
Wow very pretty!
ReplyDeleteAnd happy VGNO!
Lisa
www.retrohousewifegoesgreen.com
Quite the poet!
ReplyDeleteHappy VGNO!
Thank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteWow.
I'm so happy... that isn't even strong enough of a word... I'm just so HAPPY (:-> ) that you joined in the Virtual Girls Night Out. I love your blog.
Very thought provoking! You really have a way with words.
ReplyDeleteHpe you had a great VGNO!
Wonderfully done. :) I love it.
ReplyDeleteLike Braja says, it's not a gift of charity really. It's an exchange. You both get something out of it.
ReplyDeleteNice.
Thank you all for your kind comments...and welcome new readers and VGNO participants!
ReplyDeleteThis post started ( in my head) at around 2AM one morning
Peace ~ Rene
i love poems that tell stories. great job.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteIncredible talent you reveal here. I love the mental images that float gently through my mind, led by such expressive descriptions. Thanks for sharing.
As for this comment, "This post started ( in my head) at around 2AM one morning,"
Do ideas ever start at any other time? It seems to me that the best ideas ONLY start in the middle of the night. Thanks, again. ~ Yaya
Yaya's Changing World
I have those ideas in the middle of the night too. What an amazing talent you have!
ReplyDeleteHappy VGNO!