The Fifty Cent Tour

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Past Imperfect, Future Indicative

Group Blog Thursday project: Write a letter from your present self to your graduation day self... This isn't so much a letter, but a conversation. A conversation with 1981 me would be a much more effective means of communication. Plus I think I'd be less flowery and poetic and much more direct with myself, if I were to actually meet...myself.



1981 me


So here I am, sitting right behind myself at my high school graduation. I have been given a chance to travel through space and time to visit me, on this day.
And believe it or not, I'm a little nervous!


Hey, psst..... 2009 me kicking the back of 1981 me's plastic folding chair at the graduation ceremony.
Congratulations, graduate.
1981 me turns around and sees someone familiar, kinda like Mom, but not exactly...
and turns right back around.
Great... I'm snubbing myself
Psst..psst..heeeeyy....
( 1981 me is in italics)
Do I know you?
I'm you..2009


You're stoned, and if you are me, what the hell did you do to my hair?
What's wrong with my hair?
Nothing...(snickering eyeroll)
Raking my fingers through my hair... God, I was snotty...and this is doing wonders for my self esteem :(
Kicking back of the chair..harder this time..
Would you, shhhhhhhhhh....
Look, Missy... I have to talk to you!
You're just a crazy lady, a vaguely familiar crazy lady...leave me alone or I'll scream
Okay, Okay I'll prove it to you
You know, Mark, the guy you're secretly lusting after?
Shut up...how do you...
From your future remember? I guess I was always this slow, shit...


1981 me, after ignoring 2009 me for a bit, gets curious
Ummm...So what about Mark?
Not gonna happen. ( said in a sing songy way)
Yeah... right, we'll see tonight at the party..
No..you'll see tonight. I've already seen, or not seen..been there, not done that, don't have the t-shirt..
That's it...you're officially nuts, and seriously, is that the way I talk in the future?
I know you are but so am I.
Oh, what a burn...not!
And just so you know, it's a good thing it doesn't work out for you and Mark, cuz he turns out to be a real asshole.
You're just jealous...
Jealous? Of what? Myself? You know you should really think before you talk..
Guess that doesn't change much, huh?
2009 me plucks the back of 1981 me's head.


Why are you buggin' me? 
This is a joke, right?
Or am I dying? Am I going to die? Oh shit..I'm gonna die tonight, right? That's why you're here..to warn me, right?
Oh, that would make such a cool story, but no...
So why then?


Well, I took this opportunity to travel through space and time to speak to you about how far your C average, laissez-faire approach to high school really got you.
You don't look so terrible
Yeah, well, thanks...But, really, sign up at Community college, it'll just make things easier for you.


How bad does my future suck?
It doesn't..not at all..but this little change will make a difference. Trust me
What if I don't?
Look, I really don't want to get into that right now...I can't...just please do that for me, For you...so that you never regret not doing it.
Silently considering. Moment is becoming awkwardly serious...must make joke...
So my hair is really going to look like that, huh?
Oh darling...I could show you other parts of your body that will make you cry, but no, you're so young...and you really have great skin, do you realize that?
2009 me touches the cheek of 1981 me, holds it for a moment...and sees someone familiar, kinda like her daughter but not exactly.


Do me a favor?
What?
I mean, do us a favor...
yes?
Write. Everyday. And when you're tired of writing, write some more.
I can't write.
A tilted head, a knowing gaze, a wry smile
Yeah, right...we'll see...


Can you tell me anything more about my future?
No, honey, I don't want to spoil it for you...
Congratulations sweetie...
Back atcha...crazy lady...
And  one more thing
Sure
Time goes by incredibly fast...don't wait for an invitation to be a part of it.


Peace - Rene


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31 comments:

  1. Rene, this was very well done. I laughed a little, cried a little...and thought a little about what I would say to 1989 me. That would not be a pleasant conversation.

    PS. Next time you talk to your 1981 self, tell her to buy stock in Microsoft.

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  2. Love it! But I think you go the dates all wrong, judging by your picture in your profile shouldn't you have graduated in (at the latest) 1991?

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  3. This is brilliant, Rene! Love it! I wish I'd had 2009 me talking to (gasp!) 1970 me.

    And, Jeff, great P.S.!!

    So glad to be following you, Rene! Pure joy!

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  4. "Oooh, Burn" hahaha I forgot all about that ultimate diss.

    The ghost of Hair-Future.

    Love it.

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  5. Writing a letter to my 1979-self would be futile. I'm pretty sure I would have been too stoned to read it.

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  6. Rene first how's it going? Second love the hair and that sexy pose it just speaks to me to look back at my 1986 grad picture if I didn't look so stoned in it hahaha.

    Awesome post I think I may take you up on this little letter writing project. Since I love to write letters to my annoying customers maybe I'll write one to stoned me in 1986.

    Love you
    jbxoxo

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  7. Another awesome post, Rene.

    I loved it! What a great idea too.

    I might have to use this letter to myself idea. Now what would I say to 1984 me, hmm...

    Have a great day!

    Smiles~Felinae~

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  8. Struck out with Mark, huh?

    Stupid Mark.

    That was fun Rene : )

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  9. WOW. i enjoyed every minute of this not that i dont enjoy your other writings, but i loved this one. makes me want to do one of self. :)

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  10. i like both Renes!
    (and i'm glad that you do, too!)

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  11. Adorable! Seniors today look like our parents in the early 80's! And those plastic folding chairs are still around! My favorite line...been there, not done that, don't have the t-shirt...LOL! Mark really blew it! That's why I never went for hs boys, they were too dumb! And, Babe, you're STILL Adorable!

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  12. Whoa, this sis soooo real. I was totally there. Great job writing that all down so well. I could totally picture your teen self and old self. the skin part wasal too real too.

    I;m glad you did write daan you eventualyl blogged so we could all enjoy. Keep it up.

    BTw, lovely picture of you. Yes, your eyes have some snooty 'tude to them a bit perhaps! Ahhh..the love of being young.

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  13. You were beautiful! Still are.

    This is so beautifully written! Yeah, I'm not sure what 1988 me would have thought of the blond me now. Probably been shocked...then hit the salon to lighten it!

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  14. Love it. Had no idea that you were 1981, you look young in your photo, missy. Great skin!!

    ;-)
    My conversation (that I may blogpilfer sometime when my life is less crazy) would be my 1983 self. About the one who got away...

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  15. I love it! Great idea and so funny!

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  16. great excellent fantastic. that was really poignant.

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  17. That was a really cool way to visit yourself in the past! I enjoyed reading your post.

    If my 1997 self saw how fat my ass got, she wouldn't think she was fat back then. lol!

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  18. Great post--if only we'd known way back when what we know today...

    Happy VGNO and have a great weekend!

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  19. This is awesome, Rene! I love the advice you give youself. And, apparently, we had the same approach to high school.

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  20. Oh wow, I love this post! So well done.
    Happy GNO!

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  21. Ooooh! I wanted to find out what happened with Mark! You left me hanging! I loved it. Great idea.

    Happy GNO!!

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  22. That was awesome! Perfect ending too. :)

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  23. Hmmm...that would be an interesting post to write, but I don't think the (forget the date!) me would believe it if I told her!

    Have a Great VGNO!

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  24. enjoyed it - reminded me of those time traveler movies. NOT the current one, but the Back to the Future, the one with all the people on the bus, one about prom night -- well as you can see the memory is fading.
    I'd go back and not be able to find myself.

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  25. That was great. I think YOU should re-write Peggy Sue Got Married. :)

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  26. You are one awesome writer and if I was talking to my 1981 self (which I graduated in the same year) I'd probably run for the hills. But then again, that was the era of Back to the Future so maybe I would've just rolled my eyes and went with the flow.

    Happy VGNO!

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  27. You did a great job with this, managing to infuse the serious message with the humor.

    Would you please visit my 1972 self and give her the same message about writing? That even if it feels like she doesn't have anything to write about, write anyway. When the story comes along (and it will), then she'll already have the skills she needs to tell it.

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  28. Thank you all for your comments...

    I made the decision while writing this postthat I did not want to change the future to drastically and that all changes ( choices) would have to be initiated by 1981 me..

    Does that make sense?
    I've got NyQuil running all 'round my brain..

    Alrighty then

    Peace - Rene

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  29. Hey Rene,

    This was really pretty cool. I love the creative spin that you took on this! I know, I would not have told her either. For me, I may not have went down the same path if I knew how it would have all played out. Love this! Thanks for stopping by my blog! :o)

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