The Fifty Cent Tour

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Velvet Elvis





everybody got a Velvet Elvis
hanging up in the closet
somewhere
everybody got a guilty treasure
saving up like a millionaire
everybody got a bad lovesong
they saaang along with the radio
everybody got a Velvet Elvis
yeah, you do but, you just don't know

yeah
i hear you say
you don't watch
much TV

except for
the Documentaries
and Planet Earth
but is that The Smokey and The Bandit Collection
i see there, in VHS format
in your entertainment center
on the low shelf
behind the brandy snifter photograph of your cat
let's watch it at my place
mom's at Bingo tonight


everybody got a Velvet Elvis
hanging up in the closet
somewhere
everybody got a guilty treasure
saving up like a millionaire
everybody got a bad lovesong
they saang along with the radio
everybody got a Velvet Elvis
yeah you do but, you just don't know

why don't you grab us a bag of Doritos
and some Tabasco
and a roll of paper towels

and since you is up
a couple a beers
and one for you, too
an' shimmy on next to me
with your mighty tighty
acid washed jeans
i got a cupholder
in my recliner
with your name all over it



everybody got a Velvet Elvis
hanging up in the closet
somewhere
everybody got a guilty treasure
saving up like a millionaire
everybody got a bad lovesong
they saang along with the radio
everybody got a Velvet Elvis
yeah you do but, you just don't know


destiny...oh my sweet destiny...
you're a beautiful girl
with beautiful hair
and beautiful teeth
that shine like bright pieces
of pearl when the sun hits them
just right....in the dirt
girl, you got a pretty name

perfect for a tattoo.
i wrote a song for you
while I was on the john...
with my sunglasses on:

sitting like a lady
in your Sunday best
panties all bunching
right under your dress
killing you softly
where the sun don’t shine
all of your troubles
comin' right behind
wiggle as you walk
tryna to shakem out loose
panties still ridin'
up in your caboose
run into the
bathroom
cuz you got class
gonna pick them
suckas right outta
yo' ass

everybody got a Velvet Elvis
hanging up in the closet
somewhere

everybody got a guilty treasure
saving up like a millionaire
everybody got a bad lovesong
they saang along with the radio
everybody got a Velvet Elvis
yeah, you do but, you just don't know

Peace - Rene 2009

10 comments:

  1. What if you've got a Velvet Elvis wedged in your butt? What then?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Umm...Mizz Rene? Whatever you're taking/smoking/drinking...pass it around!

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who thinks you're awesome!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Quite the ode to guilty pleasures! You're right: we all have them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! you know when I lived in NC and did homecare I went to a house that had a velvet elvis hanging next to a velvet Jesus. Quite the wall, that was :)

    Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  5. if i were in your town
    i would invite you over
    to show you how easily
    you could launch Apple GarageBand
    and put these FLIPPIN' AWESOME LYRICS
    to music...

    the FLIPPIN' AWESOME LYRICS
    that you seem to pen
    on the daily...

    the ones that deserve to be preserved
    with a bass line and guitar riff and
    drum cadence and the only vocalist
    who can bring them to life.

    NtR's: in concert

    ReplyDelete
  6. IB - Velvet Melvin

    Kyddryn - A Tylenol and some tap water...sorry I'm no fun :( Thanks!

    John Hayes - Velvet Elvis on banjo!

    Tracy - How about the trifecta? Jesus, Elvis, JFK ?


    Chuck - The only vocalist to bring them to life? That's not me right? You're saying that you know Kid Rock...because my singing voice has been banned in 30 states, at last count

    Peace - Rene

    ReplyDelete
  7. SO cute. I was able to visit Graceland about 10 years ago. Elvis was the king of tacky, wasn't he? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was great! And it's so very, very true. We all got our velvet elvis.

    Thanks for what you said on my blog! I really appreciate the support and what you said was so true. I do take on the guilt that rightfully belongs to others. We are nice girls. Too nice sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for your comments
    everyone.
    You all rock.
    And hopefully you have all spent a little quality time with your velvet Elvis today.
    And although I have never been to Graceland I have been in a few homes in NJ that would give Graceland a run for it's money. I am recalling one such house that had tiger striped recliner with a tail...and a swirling raindrop fountain with a goddess statue inside.
    Adrian..a Patsy Cline in velvet? How much would you be willing to sell it for? :)

    ALyson.,so good to see you back again sweetie, I missed you!
    And yup, we all got 'em....even us good girls!

    Peace - Rene

    ReplyDelete

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