Late Bloomer
It's a little strange to start discovering who you are, and what you want to be when you grow up, at the tender age of...over 30.
Writing is something I've always done, not out of a want but a need. I just never thought I was good enough or interesting enough to be read ( I still struggle with this).
Writing is something I've always done, not out of a want but a need. I just never thought I was good enough or interesting enough to be read ( I still struggle with this).
I find it difficult to hold someones attention during a conversation, so why on earth would anyone want to read what I have to say.
So, for the majority of my life, I've treated writing like a guilty pleasure, a private habit...
I scribbled my thoughts and feelings into marble composition notebooks.
It wasn't so much about keeping a journal, it was more a random collection of poetry, song lyrics, short stories and brilliant snippets of genius :)
Sometimes I'd leave a notebook lying around by accident, it would be read and I would be asked,
Where do you come up with this stuff?
I never knew whether it was good or bad stuff, just stuff...weird stuff, embarrassing stuff.
Stuff that I should just keep on keeping to myself.
And so I did.
Until I just couldn't anymore...
It took the death of my father to give birth to my writing in a public forum.
I couldn't hide behind marble notebooks anymore, I wanted to be seen. I wanted to know if my stuff was worthy of being read and, if not, what could I do to make it better, stronger?
I needed feedback.
Honest feedback.
Does this blog make me look fat... :)
Don't answer that...
I thank you all for the care you have given me, the light you have provided, and the encouragement you've showered me with that has allowed me to bloom.
But...I feel safe here, the same way I felt safe hiding behind my notebooks. I now know I need get out of my cozy little comfort zone and do more with my writing, push a little harder with it... I am not sure what or even how to proceed.
Just like a new mother this has been keeping me up late at night and making me crazy! :)
But I love having this much passion about something...
All I know is there is more for me to do.
So much more...
Peace - Rene
I'm glad you stopped hiding behind your notebooks. I'm glad you found your passion. I'm glad writing gives you comfort.
ReplyDeleteBecause I think your writing is brilliant.
That was very well said- and I am very proud of you.
ReplyDeleteI hope that doesn't sound weird - but I am.
It took my nephew's death to nudge awake my passion for writing. Strange, isn't it, how our own mortality can scare the crap out of us- and also give us courage at the same time.
Well said. Funny how something traumatic can a passion started.
ReplyDeleteJust don't stop.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are gifted with something, it finds a way to surface.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot hide your passion any longer because it is its time to shine...
so stop fighting it and give into it with all of your senses...
you will blossom.
You keep writing and we'll keep reading. You're really, really, REALLY, good.
ReplyDeleteWhen you want jessica ! ...I follow u to your sea !...;)
ReplyDeleteGo to a writer's conference! That was the turning point for me not even a year ago. I feel like it was a lifetime ago, that's how dedicated and "serious" I've been about my writing since then. Find one that looks interesting, sign up, and go. You'll be so glad you did.;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's never too late to follow your passion.
ReplyDeletePassion. Without it we wither and die.
ReplyDeleteI tend to feel the same way, blogging is like hiding behind a wall, people can get to know you somewhat, but the true person very rarely shows through completely!
ReplyDeletereally happy that you seek the next level!
ReplyDeleteadvance as if it were already yours!
because really? it already is.
you just choose where.
and go.
peace
Sometimes the hardest things that happen in life are the times when you open new door to new advantures. Im glad that you write. I love readiing what you have to say. Thanks for letting be art of your advantures.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments!
ReplyDeleteGetting started, for me, is always the hardest part and the most exciting part...anybody want to buy me a shot of confidence?
Peace - rene
No more hiding your notebooks, ok?
ReplyDeleteI very much identify with this post and I am still finding my way.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing...I love your blog.
Late bloomer? You and me both, honey.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you put your beautiful words out here where we can benefit from them.
Pearl
I am a huge fan of your writing. I wish confidence was available at the Mall-- I'd buy you a double! I hope you go for it! I'll be cheering you on from Los Angeles.
ReplyDeleteTo hide behind marble note books............so full of enthusiastic passion. Oh, and thank you for dropping by my blog.
ReplyDelete