The Fifty Cent Tour

Saturday, September 7, 2013

daisy

go on 
an'
eat your 
cake

on your 
pretty 
little
plate

cross 
your fingers
at your 
ankles

beautiful 
fools
get the best of 
everthin'

hid 
under the 
skins of
careless lovers

did your momma 

teach you that,
when she taught you 
how to pray ?

did your daddy 
praise you
when you bat 
yo' eyes?

you draw them
in
with your satin 
on their sin
make them
weep
with your 
sighs

go on 
an'
hook their 
arms

with your
clever
little 
charms

tell them 
stories
'bout
your conquests

you're a child 
of god
jus' doin' her 
daddy's work

say it 
enough
you'll start 
believin'

did your momma
teach you that,
when she taught you 
how to pray ?

did your daddy
praise you
when you 
bat yo' eyes?

you draw them 
in
with your satin 
on their sin
sweet
little lambs
flock to
lies

Rene ~ 2013

9 comments:

  1. This is very powerful and quite an achievement, I think Rene... Both original and technically interesting. In particular:

    'beautiful
    fools
    get the best of
    everthin'

    hid
    under the
    skins of
    careless lovers'

    is terrific. I shall bedefinitely be back for more... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Scott. I am glad you liked it

      Delete
  2. Wow, the dialect, the repeated lines, really work here - I, too, really liked "beautiful fools get the best of everthin".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sherry. It is a nod to a line uttered by Daisy Buchanon in The Great Gatsby

      Delete
  3. Like Sherry, I am drawn to the refrain and rhythm here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Rene! This is rather dark, bitter. And powerful. Nice work x Indigo

    ReplyDelete

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