go on
an'
eat your
eat your
cake
on your
on your
pretty
little
plate
cross
plate
cross
your fingers
at your
at your
ankles
beautiful
beautiful
fools
get the best of
get the best of
everthin'
hid
hid
under the
skins of
careless lovers
did your momma
you're a child
careless lovers
did your momma
teach you that,
when she taught you
when she taught you
how to pray ?
did your daddy
did your daddy
praise you
when you bat
when you bat
yo' eyes?
you draw them
you draw them
in
with your satin
with your satin
on their sin
make them
weep
with your
sighs
go on
go on
an'
hook their
hook their
arms
with your
with your
clever
little
charms
tell them
tell them
stories
'bout
'bout
your conquests
you're a child
of god
jus' doin' her
jus' doin' her
daddy's work
say it
say it
enough
you'll start
you'll start
believin'
did your momma
did your momma
teach you that,
when she taught you
when she taught you
how to pray ?
did your daddy
did your daddy
praise you
when you
bat yo' eyes?
you draw them
you draw them
in
with your satin
with your satin
on their sin
sweet
little lambs
flock to
little lambs
flock to
lies
Rene ~ 2013
Rene ~ 2013
Awesome, Rene!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Helen
DeleteThis is very powerful and quite an achievement, I think Rene... Both original and technically interesting. In particular:
ReplyDelete'beautiful
fools
get the best of
everthin'
hid
under the
skins of
careless lovers'
is terrific. I shall bedefinitely be back for more... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
Thank you, Scott. I am glad you liked it
DeleteWow, the dialect, the repeated lines, really work here - I, too, really liked "beautiful fools get the best of everthin".
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sherry. It is a nod to a line uttered by Daisy Buchanon in The Great Gatsby
DeleteLike Sherry, I am drawn to the refrain and rhythm here.
ReplyDeleteHey Rene! This is rather dark, bitter. And powerful. Nice work x Indigo
ReplyDeleteinteresting poem. :)
ReplyDelete