The Fifty Cent Tour

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

daisy

go on 
an'
eat your 
cake

on your 
pretty 
little
plate

cross 
your fingers
at your 
ankles

beautiful 
fools
get the best of 
everthin'

hid 
under the 
skins of
careless lovers

did your momma 
teach you that,
when she taught you 
how to pray ?

did your daddy 
praise you
when you bat 
yo' eyes?

you draw them
in
with your satin 
on their sin

make them
weep
with your 
sighs

go on 
an'
hook their 
arms

with your
clever
little 
charms

tell them 
stories
'bout
your conquests

you're a child 
of god
jus' doin' her 
daddy's work

say it 
enough
you'll start 
believin'

did your momma
teach you that,
when she taught you 
how to pray ?

did your daddy
praise you
when you 
bat yo' eyes?

you draw them 
in
with your satin 
on their sin

precious little lambs
led
by
lies

Rene ~ 2013

10 comments:

  1. excellent

    I like how the lies are a main character. It puts the other emotional triggers into perspective.

    very strong, rene, very friggin strong

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks, Lance! A bit of lies, Fiona and The Great Gatsby

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  3. cross your fingers
    at your ankles

    beautiful fools
    get the best of everthin'


    ha, love that...

    and the child of god doin daddy's work, say it enough and you'll believe it...dang....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very strong piece. I really enjoyed the flow. I can hear the dialect too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whoosh! Wow. You need to put that to music.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Like your voice and flow of words here Rene ~

    Subtle but this goes very deep ~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Enjoyed the rhythm of your poem, Rene....but also see the message beneath. loved this.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The repetition is ideal, adding strength to the words on either side. And your character analysis sheds light on the protagonist's inner self, as well as on the narrator's opinion of her. Always a pleasure to read your work, Rene.

    ReplyDelete

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