Miss Runner Up

photo by Mary

It was an unusually quiet ride home from school. Mary gazed, glassy eyed at Route 3 hypnotized by the dashing lines.

"What's up, Buddo, you feelin' OK?"

Silence of The Lamb.

Oh wonderful, I think to myself, she's coming down with the bug that's been going around school. And we're supposed to head down to NJ this weekend for my mother's birthday.

Lord, I don't want to make that phone call.

We pull up to the house and Mary slumps out of the car.

Crap, she's been hit, I fear.

Once inside, I start going into nurse mode, instructing Mary to change into her pajamas and head for the sofa so that I can assess her condition.

My request is met by a pair of crazy eyes and a dead on valley girl, "like, why"?

"Cuz, you're, like, sick?"

"Nah, Uh!"

"Let me feel your head", I ask.

Cool as a cucumber.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, mom, I AM NOT SICK!!"

"What's up then Mar? You're acting like somethings wrong?"

The floodgates open.

"I came in 3rd in the spelling bee!!"

"And that's good...right?"

I would have been over the moon with a spelling bee 3rd Place. That would have warranted my mom buying a Carvel cake for me.

But this is not about me...ahem.

"No, Mom! I didn't make it to the champion round".

I LOST! I spelled "interview" wrong!"

"Oh, Buddo, C'mere!" I hug her and she is sobbing and heaving.

And it gets me welling up.

"Mom, I just want to be the best at something. There is nothing I'm the best at!"

God, can I totally relate.

I know, I know, I should say...winning isn't everything, it's an honor to be nominated, did you have fun? and all of that other greeting-card-refrigerator-magnet consolation crap that we say.

Coming from a gal who has more than a few "Miss Runner Up" sashes in her closet these words would've sounded faker than a Gucci Bag at "Cheap Charlie's" flea market.

So I told her the truth.

I told her I understood, and that it was OK to be disappointed, upset even, but not to be angry or jealous of the winner.

And that the word "interview" is tough.

But not tougher than an actual interview.

And that her mom had tanked a few of those in her lifetime.

And she, too, was very disappointed afterward.

Since I couldn't take her out to a bar to drown her sorrows, as I did after bombed interviews :) we settled for Friendly's.

It was over Reese's Pieces sundaes that she asked me, Does it get easier to lose?

To which I replied, "Yeah, Mar, it does, but it will still hurt, especially if you've worked really hard for something."

"But when you finally do win? It'll be like Christmas and your birthday and a snow day all rolled up in one."

"True dat" she acknowledged very philosophically

And, with that, we both crack up.

No losers here.

Peace - Rene

Laugh with us:

The Thrill Of Victory And The Agony Of Defeat...

Sing with us:

Stuck in a Moment ( Boston 2001) - U2

This is a repost, but since many of you didn't know me back in the day I thought it would be OK if I wore this again... :)