Taking a bit of a break as I will be on tour...
The Garden State Family and Friends Tour 2009
Get your T-Shirt now!
Honestly, at times it feels like I never get out of the official tour Corolla. Meet and greets, penthouses, dinners, performances, photo shoots. OK, so it's more like family visits, pull-out couches, pizza, bs sessions and polaroids but that's the life you lead when you are a rock star/really loud shower singer.
Or if you live more than 100 miles outside of "Center Of The Universe, NJ"
Blogging will be sporadic for the next 2 weeks as I will not be able to get a word in edgewise let alone escape to blog without being called Miss Antisocial and be jokingly accused of looking at porn.
My Mother's computer is way too slow for that anyway.... :)
I will also need time to brush up my on my bullshit to English translation skills:
You're growing your hair out = What the hell is going on with your hair?
I've read your internet stuff, funny = Skimmed it for my name, once or twice...
You look great, you must be happy = It looks like you've put on 5lbs since I last saw you.
Wow you've been busy, no wonder you look so tired = I'm jealous of you, so I have to kick you in the shin with the tired remark
Are you still working at Chuck E Cheese? = You're nuts for doing what you do, I don't like kids...please don't tell me any cute Kindergarten stories...not a real job.
She lives in NH = Please excuse her for her lack of manicure, trendy dress, overdone hairstyle and hip catch phrases because she lives in the sticks.
(this is usually said with a knowing gaze and an apologetic nod, one that is usually reserved for hopeless cases)
"It is what it is" = I've stopped listening to you five minutes ago and I'm just going through the motions.
"Good for you" = If you don't stop talking about yourself... I'm going to stick a fork in my eye.
What are your plans for this evening? = This is a trick question. Could be phishing for a babysitter. Answer wisely.
Why don't you come over for some pizza? = Before pizza I need your help bringing something heavy up to the attic
That's why we love you Rene = a verbal pat on the head...you sweet silly girl...you better run or you'll miss the short bus...
Later....much
One last thing before I go...
Please visit Joanie at Joanie's Random Ramblings...she sure could use a hug.
And visit Braja at Lost and Found in India for a way to help Joanie get through this difficult time.
Peace - Rene
Posts
12 comments:
i think yer lyin' to us.
i think you're interviewing
for national syndication of your
blog into a NY Times column.
am i warm?
am i glad i wear Old Spice?
quite the mind, there, Miss.
you got a double-shot of funny.
thanks for usin' it on us, and...
hava great vacation!
web's gonna suddenly suck without ya, but we'll be thinking about you~
Chuck
"She lives in NH"
Yeah, we get that a lot too. AND we live in the mountains, which is even worse. :)
Enjoy your trip.
Have a wonderful vacation, Rene. Have fun. Gosh, I love family stories :)
And I'm with Chuck--I think you could be the next Dave Barry.
The other day when I was doing an online memory test, NJ was the only one of the 50 states that I couldn't remember. How would they like them apples?
Chuck - Wow! I think I will let you have my fantasies for me...yours are better!
Jeff - Ayuh!
Gran - Thank you and I'm sure I'll have plenty of stuff to blog about...
Jeanne - I usually forget Delaware...as far as you forgettin' NJ?
Fugeddaboudit...
Peace - Rene
I'm so wonked out by the fact that I just started a post for next week about ChuckECheese and here you are talking about that freak at the same time.
Anyway.
Have "fun" ;)
Um, can the t-shirt-- modeled by one I.F., of course-- be WET???
You syndicate-seeker, you!!! LOL!
[And, you'd MAKE IT, Too!!! Oh, I'm sure the syndication thingie as well as the ...
C.
;D
One visit with family usually gives months of blog material!
I love your humor - come back from vacation with more funny stuff!
Have a great time! Safe travels.
Rene--I LOVE this post. You are soo funny. I could so enjoy laughing out loud with you as you do a string of these "comments really mean". But, tell me, a wee bit paranoid, perhaps? No?
Hee.
I'm seriously impressed you did a courage inch by inch thing with all you have going on now. Just remember, it's good to have genuine family at least--as crazy wombat as they may be...or....err.. is that you?
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