Random Shrine
The Monosyllabics who act as if they are being cross examined, Every Magic 8 Ball response is accompanied by an eye roll or a skeptical look. Every draw of breath whispers "Eff Off"
The Squealers who hog call with glee at every piece of good news. 75% off at Kohl's Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett!
The Everything My Kid Does Should Be Embroidered On A Pillow who have no problem talking about their child's developing waste management skills...I always sit next to them at weddings and dinner parties "And he said Mommy I go pee pee like Daddy!" They always have an accompanying photo that captures the big event as well. Precious fookin' Moments...
The Soprano's non-sequiters who "it is what it is" or "not for nothin' " you to the point of driving into a marsh somewheres in Secaucus.
The Tyra Banksers who interrupt you to share an interesting unrelated fact about themselves. "You're in labor? Well one time while I was at my sister's house I got to hold a baby...babies are beautiful....I was once a baby... I was a beautiful baby ... did you know I'm a model?"
The Successories who say...dream big, life is good, just breathe... eat me.
I am constantly looking for the See And Say cord... The Cow Says, Mooooooooo :)
The Codebreakers who look for hidden meaning in every word that you say.... "you say you're hungry, is it something more? let's talk about your hunger, is it food that you're hungry for, or is it something else? Let's define your hunger"....
The "You're Crazies" who dismiss everything you tell them with "You're crazy.... and then offer you jackassed advice "Insulin for diabetes? You're crazy, just eat cinnamon!" Do you listen to them?, Well, then, you're crazy....
The Hearsay Advisors who start everything with, "they say..." who exactly are they? Do we know them? Let kick their asses.
The Hypnotizers who consider this a complete sentence..."The bottom line, if you will, is needless to say...everyone in agreement"? And oddly everyone is indeed. Beware the wizardly words of the Hypnotizer.
The Wait A Minute I Gotta... pee, take this call, make this incision, climax, put the ring on her finger, deliver octuplets...
You know, some things can wait....
Till tomorrow....
Peace - Rene
btw: I love people, I really do :)
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15 comments:
Umm I know what those dolls are. They are Neopets...I have a Neopet Fluegen who is like 7 years old now, lol...I should feed that poor thing it has been months since I have gone on the website...oh I feel so guilty now I must go feed him!
Okay I seriously just did and put him up in the presidential suite for 4 weeks. They feed them there!! I know...I am a nerd!
The wait a minute I gotta people...just irritate me to no end.
They should be forced to have all of their conversations with the Tyra Banksers...
I think it would come to blows...
Happy Day Rene!
:)
The "Tyra Banks" people drive me nuts! And the "wait I gotta" people who put you on hold while they switch to the call waiting.... Grrrrrrr!
Happy almost weekend!
Hahahahhaha. I will def avoid the "The Monosyllabics"--how very funny.
Now, tomorrow it would be fun to read the diff kind of people you are drawn to or like.... should be interesting too! Funny pic to go with blog post today.
This cracked me up! My mom is a Hearsay Advisor. And she has a suckweed memory. Sometimes, just for shits and grins, I tell her stupid, ridiculous crap just to hear her spout it back to me a couple of weeks later, beginning with, "Well, THEY say..."
Yeah. Hell. There's a comfy chair waiting for me there.
Thank you one and all for your snappy little comments.
Jammmie, I am drawn to people that want to give me money, for no other reason than that they just want to see me be happy. I will settle for tea and a sit down. Or that cute bucket picture on your blog :)
Daine -You know, your Mom probably did the same thing to you when you were just learning how to talk...
Table for Two? I'll be at the bar....
Peace - Rene
Yes. Oh Yes.
Often you can combine any of these with the
Malaprop-isers.
Deadly.
As they say, I see the cup as half crumbled.
Re: The italics, under the 'Successories' category: MAY I??
It'll lead to #4 (non-bold) under The Wait A Minute I Gotta......
Good night, cinnamon!
Because... You Know... Am I right?
OK, I know someone in each of those categories. But the worst are - my coworker "Soprano" whose answer to everything is "it is what it is" and my other coworker Tyra Banks - responds to everything everyone says with totally unrelated, meaningless junk. See why I love work so much?
Those are the very reasons I spend most of my time talking to dogs. They are such good listeners and let me talk about Me and what I like, need, do, and think. People...not so much.
Life is very very hard !
Ciao rene ! and ... see u !
Ann - half crumbled,,fookin' hysterical..
Cygnus - unsubtle :) good directions though...
Andrea - Teacher's break room = Me having lunch in my car.
Nikki - See they do that for you and all they ask for in return is a little food and shelter and love, People are like that too but you don't have to walk them and clean up their poo ( sometimes)
Jeff34- Oui, Jeff, la vie peut être très dur, especially quand vous essayez de traduire mon blog.
Je l'aime quand vous dites "My translator is sucker"
Peace - Rene
hahahaha...what an AWESOME post! Seriously! hahaha.
Love the monosyllabics and the Tyra Banksers. hahaha Although, they are ALL good! hahhaha. Can't stop laughing. =)
Have a good weekend!
Boy, Rene. You just NAILED this. I know countless Wait a Minutes and Tyras.
But I know so many wonderful people, too.
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